I'd received a coupon for a free checkup down at the new clinic so I stopped by. "Any problems?" the Dr. asked. "Nope!" I said. "Well, let's do a full transfusion just to be safe."

Jamie Summers landed with a soft squelch upon the wombat. Thirty operations later it was reborn..better, faster, stronger - as the Bionic Wombat. Aided by its allies, Robopork &

The store owner was closing for the night. He went to lock the door, but when looked outside he dropped the keys and ran straight into the backroom without locking the door.

Everyone underestimates teenagers, who are by far the most creative people on earth. It's too bad really that they grow up to become adults. If teenagers could rule the world,

"Ok." "Raw, raw as raw." "Raw?" "Did you see my lips move? And hear sound come out of my face?" "Yeah." "I said raw!" "Ok, but dude, why are you so pissed?" "We ate it!" "So?"

Her decrepid tooth reminded him of their first kiss,& the moldering remains of a rose, of their first date. Surely She still loved him so he visited her grave & dug her up.

She had the eyes of Caligula & the mouth of M Monroe, according to Mitterand who was French & knew his horseflesh. On the day of the funeral, I boarded up my house & left on the

Full of charisma and charm, that's how the news described him. None the less, sweat beaded his brow as he stepped to the podium and the eyes of the crowd turned to him. "I am here

The master placed the food on the dog's nose and said, "Staaaaaaayyyyy." The dog's eyes went cross-eyed and he thought, this is the last straw and he

So sitting on the back deck of the boat, all of my past insecurities came rushing back. I hollered to those folks hanging over the edge of the bridge "Hey you, what's

It's the most odious time of the year. With the fruitcake all smelling and mom's boyfriend yelling, "Yo! Bring me a beer!" It's the most odious time of the year. It's the

if i had a million dollars, i would

I wondered as lonely as a cloud

i will never understand why boyfriends are so overprotective.....

If a vampire bit you, you became a vampire. If a werewolf bit you, you became a werewolf. Mummies wanted to wrap you up. Where were the monsters who didn't want you to join a club?

Dear Cosmo, I've got a friend, a really good friend and I've just discovered that my friend has got another friend. What should I do?

In my horror, I had stumbled upon the Folding Story Code. Every first letter of EVERY fold inevitably spelled out the terrible secret of...well, that I had yet to discern, but it

"let us bow our heads in prayer" said grandma. she didn't know I never believed in the magical man called GOD.

"You know, it's crazy how we finish each other's..."

There is not one day when she couldn't remember the harassment she endured. She remembers all the awful things they said to her, and how everyone just stood around and laughed.