Todd put down the weed whacker and picked up the telephone, and that is when it all started. The voice on the other end

I smartcar sized snot-like jellyfish spread itself across our path on the pebbly beach shore. I could see the digested remains of

Most people wouldn't add to perverted folds, and so many stories never reached their end. This was due to a troll named Al Gore adding nasty sentences to many of the stories.

He fell in love with her smile. The lines of crooked teeth like a miniature stonehenge begged for his orthodontic prowess.

When the beautiful woman ran toward the foul smelling pile, she didn't even notice the man with the knife at the entryway. She was mesmerized by another stench, she was

A bunch of kids went walking on a bridge towards the other side. The kids were begining to cross over the bridge when

Lentil. Lens. Glasses. Michael Caine. Raincoat. Cloud. Rainbow. Fluffy. Bunny. Juggled Hare. Gravy. Flour. Clown. Syphilis. Insanity. Moon. Blue. Dark. Gentian. Hades. Persephone.

"Smut, smut and more smut!" shrieked the Quaker, slamming the tomes down on the counter. "Is that too much to ask from a library book??!". The librarian, adjusting the strap of her

When I was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom, multi-million dollar deals, endorsements. Everyone wanted a piece of me.

His face was sideways.

Hejzan killar! Det var en dag då jag skulle gå till skolan. Då kom en brun drake och stampade på min tå. Aj sa jag!

"What will my patient need today?" asked the nurse. "I'll have a quadruple bypass burger, a butter fat shake and an order of flatliner fries. Oh and bring a pack of unfiltered

I'm too sexy for my fold. too sexy for my fold. Yes, I'm too sexy for my fold.

They McDonald's cashier politely asked my dad to pull forward and the food would be brought out. "Hell No, I won't pull forward this is supposed to be FAST food." Shame crept

Happy nipples! Happy nipples! I've got happy nipples!

Agent Robinson was gasping for breath as he tried to stand, and I used the opportunity to do the sensible thing and shoot him. He crumpled on the floor, and I was free to proceed

First it was the vampires versus the humans. The it was vampires versus werewolves. Then the vampires versus the zombies. What was it with those fucking vampires not getting along

I mourn for my lost guinea pig Petey. It's been five years now. I still make it a tradition to visit his gravesite. It's out by the projects. Next to the heroin dealer.

When he graduated with his PhD from Stanford two years ago, he was set to join a team cataloguing endangered species and creating a DNA bank of plants, animals and

Have you ever noticed how many times the number 87 turns up? 87? No way. Yeah, it DOES. Pay attention and you'll soon realize that there is something special about the number 87.