It was only two weeks before Cousin Corinna's wedding. Aunt Malda pulled out this dress that wasn't even cool in the 80's. It looked like a peach cobbler that someone thew up on. "

I had a literary license .... to kill!

"And if you look at a penny with 3D night-vision goggles, Lincoln has a Hitler mustache." Everyone oohed except Pete. Why did he let Stacy drag him to these meetings? He slumped in

There was a time when the blue was bluer, I'm sure.

Her new boyfriend and son hated each other. She needed something they could bond over. A video game, WII. She needed an edge, so she pepper sprayed the other mothers

Simon wondered when he should tell his date about his vestigial tail. Rarely did the topic come up naturally in conversation. Over the years he had learned it was better not to

It was 10:30 at night. The sky had turned a sullen orange, and Jake felt more alive than ever before. The blood that oozed from his ears and eyes didn't worry him. The green ooze

"I never could bring myself to massage feet. That's why I got my first divorce." I said loudly. "What about the second?" Harold asked over the noise in the crowded bar we occupied.

Terricloth robes always seem to chafe me. I have tried using all sorts of fabric softening agents with no luck. However,

Gary knew that his days on Diff'rent Strokes were numbered. Charlotte had told him long ago that

Here are a few of my favorite things: the smell of fresh ground coffee, 49er football, when my kids are running toward me, getting into a groove on a nicely mogeled ski slope,

I almost always get a little teary eyed at moments of greatness. Whether I’m reading something that is particularly well done, or reading the story of something great, I usually

Perry White settled in at his desk at the Daily Planet and poured himself a stiff bourbon -- three fingers, no ice. He thought about how he had pimped out Lois to get the story of

The Toddler was pure evil. He would take two things and smash them together just to see what would happen. He once pinched his father quite hard and showed no remorse at all.

Its dark and I can't see it seems like im outside in a ally but I dont no. Where am I?

"How can I choose." I thought to myself. Barack Obama look alike or the grey fox veteran. I have so much to give, but I need something substantial in return.

Through the rotting jungle, we happened upon an old French plantation. They invited us in and offered the last of the vintage wine. "We have been here for years," the owner said.

This was it. I walked right into my hot boss's office, closed the door, and said "I need a rise and I need it now". She looked up, stole a quick glance at my crotch, and

By the time my car came to a rest in front of the station, I was so enthralled in my daydream that I didn’t notice myself turning the ignition into the off position. I almost

The Spanish Treasury vessel took a shortcut through pirate-infested waters. "I hope pirates have no interest in outdated currency, cuz we have picayunes up the wazoo." Capt. Black