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I had a literary license .... to kill!

  • I had a literary license .... to kill!

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  • Four best sellers in the last ten years. At my home on Dana Point beach, I called my publisher to extend the deadline one more month. Accepting, she invited herself over for lunch

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  • I made a Czech speciality. Half a hardboiled egg & a gherkin wrapped in solid bacon fat then wrapped in gristly beef & tied with string. Then boiled for an hour. My publisher vomit

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  • ed up my manuscript, but went ahead at ate the deep fried gherkin...but not before he slathered it with mustard. My publisher didn't like my writing but he liked my Czech cooking.

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  • Thank God for Food52!Where else would I've found a Czech recipe that fast?OK,I changed a few ingredients and skiped some steps,but I guess my publisher should be fine.I'll call him

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  • later at the hospital to see how he enjoyed having his stomach pumped. I did manage to get him to sign off on my latest manuscript before he started heaving and passed out. Maybe

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  • is not a "yes" and it is not a "no." It's one of those words that just leave you hanging, you know directionless. I can't make a decision on "maybe." I need a firm response damn it

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  • . Yes or no. I've been fed on "maybe" all my life. I went and stabbed a man in a back-alley, hoping he'd scream NO so I could break the pattern, but he kept screaming MAYBE at me.

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  • The police asked whether I killed a man, and I answered MAYBE. So I ended up in a line-up with 5 other MAYBEs and behind the mirrored glass MAYBE a witness of the deed identified

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  • me as the POSSIBLE murderer. MAYBE I did it, MAYBE I didn't, but one thing I knew for sure. I wasn't a hobo anymore.I had a nice warm place to sleep & food for the rest of my life.

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1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Jan 22 2014 @ 06:10

    Just realized that Chaz meant what he said...

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