Don't mess with me. Just give me three gin and tonics and leave me ALONE! But before you go, would you mind handing me the remote? I want to watch "Leave It to Beaver" reruns.

My parents gave me advice like "Don't talk with your mouth open." and "Hold my hand while crossing the street. I don't want to die alone."

The museum shuts down. The mummy sits up and yawns.

It was a hot summer day at Camp and we were getting ready to hike, sandwiches were made, water bottles filled and counselors backpacks packed. They were ready to head out when all

Fran's Kafka sat at the back of the coach of the 18-30 holiday to Marbella. Morose doesn't even come close to describing his general demeanour. He'd left Prague with high hopes of

He eats a lot because he has an emotional

The unnervingly large toddler was sucking on an apple Jolly Rancher at the playground one day when out of the blue, he started to choke. His mother wasn't paying attention, so I

The bushes ruffled in the darkness as I walked through the swamp. I could not see it's face, but just the silhouette of a massive being who had a donkey beside him.

Susan Walker was just a normal average teenage girl in till one night her and friends snuck out to go night surfing and it was a fullmoon she got home and looked in the mirror and

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the castle not a creature was stirring, not even the shackled; the skeletons wre hung, by the chimney with care, in the hopes that

The Ratman & Stoat queen sauntered through the renaissance fare. They were giving each other the glad eye, but above their shoulders, her stoat was leering at his hairless rat.

Throw the cheese! Classic youtube. Unfortunately it was also the best defense against the cowboys from outer space that a 11 year old could think of while

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I am not angry. I wish I was, but I'm too old to feel anything but numb. "You know he did try and find you after the march, but Souci you had eyes for everyone but the star"

Machinery. He'd pay for it if it didn't make his gut empty, and heart ache.

There had been no winners of 'Most Dosteoevsky-like Folder' since 2014. This was because all Dosteoevsky-like folders had disappeared in mysterious circumstances. Lucielucie denied

Nothing ever changed. Every day Tod would log on to his favorite hook-up site, and every time he would be greeted by the same pathetic faces. No one new ever seemed to join that

Bret Humorless was the most serious man in the world, and he made sure everyone knew it. His colleagues at Crock O'News tried to get him to crack a smile, but

Everyone has their million dollar idea, just most people don't act on it. Mine was different flavors of floss. You know, cherry, orange, chocolate soufflé. I got the idea when I wa

Roscoe was a Boston Terrier in a Top Hat, super cute but also, hideously evil.