I wake up every morning at

Eleven years all told. Five for the trial and appeals. Four in maximum security. And two along Death Row. Every day all I thought about was my last meal. I'd have

In less than an hour, Seattle police had completely run out Doritos they were handing out at Hempfest this morning. Operation Orange Fingers was a success!

"No! Do not throw that away, you hear? I saved those Kleenex from when I went to see 'Titanic' & cried so hard, I wanted to save 'em in a ziploc! And put that down! That's my

Donna was in the kitchen chopping onions. On the radio was an item about the cut-back in mistresses Italian men are having to make in the economic downturn. The knife slipped and a

"Tea, Earl Grey, hot" Something whirred and clicked within the replicator and a fate scent of elderberries filled the room. A bowl of plomeek soup appeared, the ten raktajinos in

I'm so tired, I have to use toothpicks to prop my eyelids open. It hurts a little. but at least they are keeping me awake.

The guy rapped on the Gates and Saint Peter answered. "Can I get in?" "Not until you atone for the murder of 56,176 living creatures." "I never killed anyone!" "Remember Halo?"

Ichthyosis vulgaris, I had never heard of it before, but it is real. The twins were born and immediately diagnosed. With all their scales I knew they would either become super hero

She elephants, that's what you'd call them. Although they weren't quite elephants, but rather a large robust tub of fat & skin with floppy ears & lipstick crossing narrow philtrum

"Ack! Save... yourselves," the cavalryman pled as he coughed up blood. "Oh no, he has bronchitis," said the sage, ignoring the cavalryman's case of "throat sword." Further tests

"Push...Puuuuuuuush!C'mon,push!It's almost there..." the sales girl in the shoe store said once she realized those boots were not fit Ane's feet.It was almost closing time,those bo

The sun set in the west behind the three sisters & the first star shown in a deep blue sky. A tall slim cowboy rode on his lanky steed whistling Indian Love Call. The butte echoed

Jim Kirk eased his bruised body onto the narrow, spartan bed in his quarters. What he wouldn't give for an Arcturian beanbagbed. Or even a box spring and mattress from Iowa. Lovers

He walked up the stairs and there it was

once upon a time a young lady named molly, fell into a large amount of money from her recently deceased great grandfather. Nobody really knew how larry (

Leonard live a lemon lie. He dressed in a lemon suit, wore lemon loafers, ate lemon pie and drank lemon beer. Slept in a lemon bed, with lemon girls. He even pissed lemonade, BUT

I was walking home from the pub across the fields when I saw on the hill a bonfire with witches dancing. A very beautiful witch only wearing a cutty sark stopped to stare at me

We had zombies before zombies were cool.

He grew even more concerned that the schizophrenia was back when the strong aroma of asparagus pee wafted up from the bowl. He hated asparagus. He looked around. "Hello?"