"That'll be it!" I closed the menu & handed it back to the smiling waitress. "Thank you!" she gushed, "Should only be a few minutes." When she turned & walked away, I noticed she

There's smelling salts, bath salts, the salt of the earth, the SALT treaty, salt empires, and salty dogs, but the kind of salt I'm talking about

Don't let your meatloaf.

In a Norwegian fjord a thought was nestling in an icy cleft of granite. The sun shone on the clear water, the idea became flesh and the flesh took on the form of the mighty Kraken!

Tonight seems weird. I got home and

Ever get that nagging feeling at the back of your neck? No, not my dog trying to pull me from this fire. I mean the notion this has happened before. That this is all deja vu.

My name is cat. I am the cat in the hat. I know many things. For my hat gives me infinite wisdom. Though I may be strange, I am here to solve your problems. How may I help you?

I was going to a fifa soccer match, when i got there i saw many people running out of the soccer match club, when i look closely, i saw a a group of witches throwing pumpkin bomb

Lenin17 & Betty were cast adrift on the indifferent ocean of fate. Their rudderless boat bobbed around until they washed up on the shore of another story to continue their adventur

As I looked over the unruly mob in front of me calling for my decapitation, I reflected on the last hour that had brought me here. I would have never thought that Clarence had it

"Psst, Hey bud." "WHO ME?" "Shhh..." who me?" "Riiight. How would you like to buy an O for just a buck?" "A BUCK!" "Shh.." "a buck?" "Riiight" "SAY AREN'T YOU PAT SAJACK?" "Shhh...

"This trumpet is haunted, did you know that?" Percy shoved the instrument in my face. It was tarnish and dull and smelled faintly of cigarette smoke. Percy was a fucking liar.

INTEROFFICE MEMO

Era verano y hacía un calor insoportable. En las estancias de la casa las persianas estaban todas bajadas para evitar que el sol entrara con más fuerza.

The doorbell rang. It was a courier with a very large, heavy box. Written on the top was "OPEN WITH CARE." So I did. I regret to this day having opened that parcel. It was

Full of charisma and charm, that's how the news described him. None the less, sweat beaded his brow as he stepped to the podium and the eyes of the crowd turned to him. "I am here

Most men don't use condoms. We need to design a better condom. Let's brainstorm. How about an origami condom with a nice mountain valley corrugation, or a Barney fingerpuppet?

Writing Boot Camp: The drill sargent yells. "Finish your folds.You've got 4 minutes! And anyone uses penis, or makes fart jokes gets to clean the latrine! Private Folder Ryan types

And so the Earthlings offered many fossil fuels as burnt offerings, coal & oil, and their millions of sheep and cows offered methane, and it was not pleasing to the planetary diety

She was ecstatic to see all these movie stars lined up at the Academy Awards. She'd waited since yesterday to get some great shots with her new camera. Just then, there was a tug