INTEROFFICE MEMO

INTEROFFICE MEMO

To the person who left a copy of their family jewels on the office printer. I have placed the image on our internal facebook page. Your tattoo is clearly visible. A year end bonus

has been scrapped because Mrs. Petri in accounting used it to pay off her gambling debts. In other news, the food poisoning at the I-Team get-together was linked to deviled eggs.

Then the Anchor woman stopped. Dead air. She said, "Tom, if you're watching this, sweetheart, I want a divorce. It's over...in other news the Pope said that traditional marriage is

on his To Don't list, but if his Zoosk profile is to be believed, the Pope is looking for a friend with benefits. Maybe I'll take him up on that, TOM. Ugh... My producer says that

it takes gumption to add to dormant folds. Many contain gerund phrases as the object of a preposition participially compounding the reflexiive complement of an appositive, thereby

negating all possibility of redemption for the poor souls who attempt such a task. And now my life hangs in the balance. I have been caught in the fold. I can barely even

put a sentence together. I try and try again. I wonder who is watching me and who is judging me. All it takes is a little imagination and three minutes. I felt my breath becoming

a little stinky. I probably shouldn't have eaten that Limburger cheese sandwich but I was so hungry after spending hours meditating to my favourite Enya songs. My anxiety

disappeared, as did anyone who came near me. I was peacefully alone. Just me, Enya, and my limburger cheese breath. Nirvana.