So this "Saltine eating challenge" was all new to me. Saltines are smallish & not that intimidating, that is until there are 5 in your mouth & ur not allowed to drink anything. So

I was having tea with the vicar yesterday. He picked up a knife. "Cake?" he said. "Or death?" I joked. The Rev. looked at me strangely. I looked at the knife in his hand and swallo

"I love you." There was a heavily pregnant pause. The pause started having contractions as the receiver of this statement stuttered. "I, er," he coughed, searching for the

It was one of those weeks when my arm had looked like it had been put in a food blender. As I was getting changed for P.E one of the mean slutty girls noticed my acts of self harm.

The snowman walked in the familiar snow for hours trying to remember how he got here. He remembered the laughter of children and their little hands with so much hope, faith, & love

"Why are you walking funny?" I don't walk funny." "Yes you do! Just now when you walked over to the kitchen, I heard laughter coming from your shorts." "Oh that. That's just my

The sieve-like defenses of my pillow fort were no match for my little sister's hockey stick. "Retreat!" I said, grabbing my plastic lightsaber and escaping out the back. My Teddy

Creative Writing Story Sabatelli

His mind was wandering as their footsteps echoed on the metal catwalks.

He drove his jeep into the hotel. 50 pounds of explosives taped to his chest. He pressed the detonate button and nothing happened. He pressed it again. Nothing.

"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" he said into the microphone at the drive-thru. With a perfect Parisian accent, one of the requirements for the job. The box squawked in response

The '54 Chevy appeared to be abandoned, left with its windows rolled down & not a soul in sight. Barney passed the rusting heap along this lonely stretch of Alabama highway many

"The shortest distance between two idiots is but a few feet." Master Yang told his pupil. The student, Jimmy Cake, could totally see into that, as he continuously bumped into stup

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

Some of us

There would be many times shitting my pants in front of or in the midst of large crowds, but on Saturday the 28th, 2012, I had the the shit that would lead to my greatest adventure

The manager wrapped the tape measure around my waist. "I'm afraid you're too skinny to be a mall Santa. Better luck next year." I knew I should've eaten more than a salad and

"Wow! This sandwich is incredible!" Stan's eyes twinkled in delight as he took another huge bite. "What's in it?" The waitress pretended not to hear him and tried to look busy.

Magmaroids is a condition wherein

"It was a dark and stormy night," said the Cliché-voiced Narrator.