I liked this balance sheet because

The office was shocked when the vice president of pizza college gave her 3 weeks notice today. The statistician started to cry, because her awesomeness is 100% irreplaceable.

Toto didn't bark, he just skulked so hard he pissed. Dorothy looked up in fear. She saw the Wicked Witch of the West Side Connect flying in on her giant

I would be ashamed if you could hear my snarky thoughts. Like the pang of guilt an axemurder feels while axeing a vixen into smooshy eighths, this is how I know I'm a good person.

Great ideas are often hidden behind a dark shadow of conspiracy theories. I saw a tear roll down his cheek. My father had kept a fragment of a manuscript in his library under

He was a medieval slob on a skateboard. Paunchy. Balding. Long greasy hair at the sides. Sweatshirt. Cargo shorts. Hunchbacked. Smoking. Wide leather bracelet like

The duck walked down the road on the hot day and he found some crumbs and ate them. He drank some water & his belly swelled because it was pink lemonade, & it was magic. So he was

The heart of a house is really in the backyard. Inside, it's just a lot of pissing in bowls, cushioned sleeping, and slow-cooking flesh. But in the backyard, there's truth.

*** Greasy Charr Grilled Gristleburgers! *** Harv pulled nto his favorite truckstop. Fran saw the Medusa Decals on the Rig and yelled, "Russ, two Big Greasies and a Monster shake!"

Bulbous ping-pong balls stared me in the face. "Time to get up Jake!" said the sock.

What pants now?

rrrrr r r r r r r r r r r r rr r

Swollen tropical raindrops fell from Bozo's eyes onto the pavement as he was thrown to the ground and cuffed. His wig was askew, makeup smeared, but from the wet splatters arose

Mildred was hitching East destination New England, wearing a tight little button up sweater,a racy skirt exposing some knee & penny loafers when Joe pulled up in his Buick Electra

Two young cowboys went riding out one dark & windy day. Upon a ridge they rested as they went up on their way. When all at once a mighty herd of red eyed sheep they saw

I enough money in my bank to last me 100 lifetimes. I can have anything that I can think of and make people do exactly as I wish. And stil I am not content, still I feel this empti

I awoke bolt upright. After last night's bender, I thought I would wake up in my bed (or someone else's.) Instead, I was in front of my laptop, my hands pressed to the keyboard.

Police from the central German town of Bad Hersfeld report culprits made off with 5.5 tons of Nutella from a parked trailer--estimated worth $20,000.

"Yo dawg. I heard you liked doing the flop, so I did the Harlem shake because all your base are belong to chuck testa!" My girlfriend screamed and ran away. It completely ruined

"I am pleased to report that your million-dollar grant did not go to waste. My team and I discovered that dolphins do indeed nap with one eye open." The board members started thro