What ... the ... f*ck?!

"In March, there will be a hard frost, followed by plauges of frogs." Madame Zooza glanced between her crystal ball and the laptop. Writing for the Farmer's Almanac was hard work.

Hobbes decided he wanted to kill something. Then Calvin entered the room. And Hobbes

Her idea of a perfect Friday night was making jewellery from fake flowers and candy, cutting the sleeves off of jackets and shortening skirts. Sometimes, she even looked happy.

In a time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings, a man in turmoil cried out for a hero. She was

I remember San Franciso from 19 year's ago. I would walk to work up Pacific Ave, and watch the waking city stretch through the fog and yawn with the unlocking of security gates and

On a moonlit night, stranded on a canoe in the middle of Convict Lake, Wilson had his first full night of sleep since the death of Mr Rodriguez. He had nowhere to go and no need of

There would be many times shitting my pants in front of or in the midst of large crowds, but on Saturday the 28th, 2012, I had the the shit that would lead to my greatest adventure

It was 3:42 AM and the electronics were beeping reminders about game turns and status updates. "Perhaps we should go sleep," he said. She didn't answer as he got up and got a snack

I couldn't believe my eyes! The last thing I expected to see when I looked out my window was that!

One day there was a guy, his name was Leo Verheij and he was always sitting behind his computer. He went to Youtube to look for music.

As I was heading into work, my mind started to drift from one topic to another. I wondered if I had left the coffee maker on? Was I teaching 9 English or 10 History first? When

Though short sighted Ornithorhynchusologist, Bill D. Mamon, sensed a rat & ducked into the nearest library cubicle changing into the web-footed costume of Capt. Platypus!

Slowly my vision blurred. The pills were kicking in and the blood began to gush from my arms. Was I really ready to die? I wasn't so sure anymore.

Months past everyone learnt Dick Cheney orchestrated 9/11, had a puppet for president & killed his enemies in convenient "accidents". Less power than he bargained for. Who cared?

It's time you knew the truth. I was kicked off the fire department 8 years ago. All those times I said I was putting out fires, I was really

But what the hell is he doing? I wonder.. By daylight you only ever see his shadow casted through the grimy windows.. By night the echoes filled the empty alley.. The pounding, the

It was late. Dale tucked in the prized members of his Beanie Babies collection and curled up on the floor. He wouldn't sleep in bed with them, not since the night he rolled onto

"I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV" said Dr. Mendacium. It was how he started his 1 hr infomercial "How to Confuse Others & Get Rich." By the end of the hour he'd hypnotised

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents... Strike that. It was a bright sunny day and the sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new...Doublestrike that