It is possible to steal an infant from the hospital, if you do it just right. You do not even need to use a disguise, if you simply

Dollar bills floated through the air in the small wind tunnel of the shoe store. They did this kind of thing to attract business on slow days. She'd forgotten the toxins embedded

This year, the team was challenged to come up with a machine that would perform twelve tasks on

Delivering a corpse was out of the question, but re-animating a shredded body full of shrapnel was too rich for his pay grade. He nodded once before drifting across the center line

The only purple folder lay on his desk. These meant the worst possible thing and he could barely think it, let alone coax his hand into opening it. That would take bourbon and lots

The ship smashed against the rocks. Severed heads rolled out of the chest. This is where the captain has been hiding his friends. I took the torch and waved it at

Deep breaths, each one successively deeper, widened the berth given to him by those around him. The herd could smell a stampede and were spreading for safety. He could barely hide

Don't sugar coat it. Take out the fart spray and goose this turnip good. I'm tired of everyone blaming the fat guy for unowned odors. This time I will strike, and strike hard until

"How did I get here?" he thought as he sat on the tip of a Trident Nuclear Weapon. It was damn uncomfortable. He looked down and realized just how far down

He slept under the covers for the first time since the ghost had been busted. That moment where he'd felt safe under the covers, then seen a ghost beneath had ruined his safe place

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No one thinks I am smart but they are wrong. They just see a guy behind the video rental counter and think, dropout. But I am smart. And I know all their little foibles and

It had been a long night at yoga practice. As I stepped into the street a violent ravaged dog attack my leg. I kicked in scream until I beat it off.

An old saggy hag was running through the street naked as can be running into a stop sign with a draft causing her breasts to smack her in the face.

So your mother is so old she Dj-ed at the Boston Tea Party

There once was a Quaker Clown who hated kangaroos. We don't know why but he did, but he hated their bouncy, jumping around.

I forever remembered the sight of

Storm clouds drifted across his bedroom floor. It'd be an awful night & he could hear harps foretelling. The violins stabbed at the air. Whatever nightmare awoke him wasn't over.

I am waiting for snow to come so that i will go out and make snow balls and snow mans and play with them throughout the night even giving up sleep. The snow is disappointing me

Rumpelstiltskin had reformed. With plenty of therapy, he no longer craved gold and other people's children. He was now married to one of the seven dwarves' sister, and they lived