He slept under the covers for the first time

He slept under the covers for the first time since the ghost had been busted. That moment where he'd felt safe under the covers, then seen a ghost beneath had ruined his safe place

for dutch ovens. He would eat knishes and potato ladkas with sour cream and french fried onions, then stick Michelle's head under the covers. She puked on his stomach once. He

loved the cute retching sounds Michelle made as she spilled her sweet vomit onto his belly. But by morning the muck had dried into a sort of candy coating that removed his hair. He

had discovered Nair. Whch was quite fortunate because he often dared wear short shorts.At first he kept the secret to himself. But

one time his room-mate walked in when he was smothered in the stuff. "What is that smell, and why have you got cream smothered all over yourself?' "I can wear shorts with Nair."

"But why would you want to wear shorts? It's January and we live in Narnia!" He gave his room-mate an odd look, "We're not in Narnia, bro. We're in

Namibia. That last mortar must have rung your bell. Don't you remember, we airdropped in last night to help suppress the uprising in Windhoek. CIA, Black-ops- ring any bells?

He was answered with, "Sorry, I was preoccupied by the lack of deodorant on this continent. What's up with that?" Amazed by how a top CIA agent can be thrown off their game, he

began singing "Bad Romance" and shoved the CIA agent onto the dance floor. Which, because of the acid trip, he had failed to notice was actually a combine, which immediately

combined him with a peacenik from the 60's and produced an investment banker. Seeing this evil, I stopped the ride and got off. Next time, we agree on ground rules first.