It's 11:59 at night, so tired. Myt fold si finishgd, just need ton preesc thd "Fold an de oaiss" button- ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Chocolate covered pretzels dipped in caramel coated mint ice ream wasn't enough to drown my disappointment at having been fired by the worlds worst company.

I thought I had been invited to go rollerblading with a friend, but misunderstood. What he really said was, "ROLLERBALDING!" I tried to stop but it was too late. I had the skates

What am I making of this intake? This booze, this gluttony, my Facebook feed trough, the news, the binge-watching? What alchemy occurs in this dust-devil's dissolute crucible? He

I hate looking in the mirror or seeing me naked. I have decided that in order not to have these stripes and polka dots I will join a decoloration gym.

At strip malls, people usually kept their clothes on. But at many abandoned shopping malls, some people sat on the benches naked, ruminating about the passage of time, watching

The trick was to have at least one more world than you had illusions. If you had equal or less the illusions died. But with that extra world you could have the illusions feeding on

It was a dark and stormy night.

Professor Simon looked at me like I had three heads all wearing half moon glasses and pondering away. "So, what you're saying essentially is, time is three cups of coffee, Linda?"

You're not real and you two are only here for moments at a time and then vanish. Like bubbles popping. I don't know anything. I don't feel anything. I'm barely here myself.

At the end of a long and winding road, there was a run down shack of a house. I had been walking for days with no sign of anyone. I needed food and water. Where had everyone

I am not exactly famous for my insight but I am not unaware that my body and I are not the best of friends. Just now though I found myself and my body on the same page as I experie

So this guy called me up. I had gone on a date with him, maybe, 3 months ago. It had been ok, but he had to leave early to catch a last minute flight to Budapest. So he was back &

He took up the challenge again. Having forgotten what that was, he turned to his second and only found a third rail. He persevered and drew lots for weapons. The challenger drew pi

Sometimes Heyman Boyd would go incarnate again just to ride the shuttle up and down Dark Matter Corridor 458, read the graffiti at the stations, and watch the variety of people who

Donald Trump and Andy Rooney made sure no one was in the library. They went to the "Philosophy" aisle and embraced each other.

Forget using carnival karate,

Once upon a time, it was a dark and stormy night. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and I took the road less traveled. Call me Ishmael. A screaming comes across

They say home is where the heart is. I keep mine under the floorboards. Late at night, I can still hear it beating...

"I don't get it," Qwerty said. "Who did what again?" "Oh my God," Asdf said. He had already told Qwerty about it three times. "Are you even listening?!"