These lederhosen have been riding up on me all day. All for naught, she didn't even notice me. I think Ferdie tricked me into this. Why was I the only one wearing lederhosen?

My hands hurt. My back ached. Hell, everything hurt or ached. Working in the mines was at the unfortunate center of the Pain - Suffering - Hopelessness Venn diagram.

Guten Morgen tönte es aus dem Garten.

I slew a dragon. But the policeman didn't believe me. He finished handcuffing me and slammed me into the back of the police van. "This one is crazy!" said one of the officers.

There was tree with just one last leaf, fall time was comming to an end and surely you will freeze. In the middle of winter you ran out of food and now you must eat.

The stock market was about to crash. Inspite of all the financial advice to hold on, Sarah decided to sell all her shares and invest in a website selling organic produce instead.

He placed the cap on the dry erase marker. The line went down the middle of the cubicle. All of his office equipment had post-its which read "Property of Greg" He took a mirror

Today, the day I thought would be the best day of my life, would turn out to be humanity's worst day in history.

wrecked into millions of peices. The police came and I had no idea what to tell him, he kept on asking me what had happend and I told him that I

When I was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom, multi-million dollar deals, endorsements. Everyone wanted a piece of me.

The aging, tired waitress gave him a disapproving look as she waved us in. When Jimmy sat down at his table, I was fairly sure I was going to be seeing Rod Serling go into his

Billy Mays woke up. He throat was dry. He couldn't lift his head. That's when he felt the piano wire around his throat, the Russians told him to lay still.

Not every story begins with "Once upon a time" or "Long, long ago." For example, this one was going to start off with "It was a dark and stormy night."

Jeb Maverick was the original cowboy troll, dating back to San Fran '49. He was known to shout "Gold!" in crowded saloons and

Lead. The wedding ring had been lead "painted" gold. She thanked the jeweler and went home. Her husband was sitting in front of the TV watching King of Queens and

The coffee mug was empty. It wasn't strictly a mug in the truest sense of the word, but a blender pitcher that had been the last clean vessel for caffeine. He stared in despair at

"You talk to much and you never shut up".. "You talk to much and you never shut up". People started giving him the eye in the bus. He fished for his phone. Why was his wife calling

"Iä Iä Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph´nglui mglw´nafh Cthulhu R´lyeh wgah´nagl fhtagn!" said the Cthulhu Cult Priest with the tentacular mask. "Iä Iä Cthulhu fhtagn!" repeated the cultists.

A farmer and his wife couldn't have a child so they prayed to the demon Butaljo to help them. When the wife gave birth, Butaljo said I granted your wish, but when she grows up

I had been given the Government's most important secret document by accident. The delivery woman had swallowed her suicide pill before discovering I was the wrong person! The sec