I had been given the Government's most important

I had been given the Government's most important secret document by accident. The delivery woman had swallowed her suicide pill before discovering I was the wrong person! The sec

ond that she fell the the floor, I knew that I had only 2 options. Wikileaks or eBay. Either bringing down the worlds governments, or making a few bucks to maintain my smurf habit.

I turned to Facebook to ask my friends what I should do. Predictably enough, three hundred people liked my question, but only two people actually answered it.

And what makes matters worse, one answer came from my 3rd grade teacher.... Why in the world did I friend him anyway? He had no good advice, deep down I know what I was going to d

rink and spatter into his face next semester. "Don't throw paper airplanes at midgets", he would comment at school.

He was always doing that, rubbing my face in my mistakes.

And I never said a word to him.Why? Was I too weak? Was I afraid of him? No, I loved him. I cared about him more than anything in the world. But did he reciprocate??

His head was in the clouds and he felt he was above my station. How could I love this stilt walker without his love in return? Carnival was coming up, I would show him the truth.

I had just enough time in advance of Carnival to show my love by building a life-sized killer whale out of Legos. THEN my true intentions would be evident.

"See my life-size killer whale of legos!" I told people. It was anatomically correct, too! As much as a lego replica can be. I shoved people into its digestive tract to show them!