"If you're not crazy, you'll have to look for a job somewhere else," the CEO told me just before I was escorted out of the building. "Hah," I thought, "Joke's on them."

“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?” said, Robert Reich to Bill Clinton.

They are the Officials Of the Forever Department. They regularly record the rantings from the Ether Dole that

Sad but truth.Nail polish all over her wedding dress.Her motter told her not to leave it hanging there uncovered!Why did she have to retouch her nail so close tothe fucking dress?U

Snoopy was sleeping on his dog house when Woodstock

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One sunny morning, I looked into the mirror and noticed that for absolutely no reason at all, a toenail was imbedded into my forehead. Either that, or it grew there. "Odd..." I

It wasn't that a llama was eating the remains of his birthday cake. It wasn't the ceiling fan on the floor. What Ro'd'elln could not fathom is how he was hovering two feet off

Dinky was sick and tired of that attention hog Roro getting all the strokes. Just cause he, Dinkinarius Dougle Dawg made a mess with the clothes hamper and ate the

Environmental concerned Hindus decided rather than worshipping the smelly cow they would worship the kangaroo. The kangaroo ate grass all day but does not fart. Greenhouse gases

Dr. Moodle also supported the claim that Dr. Seuss had a PhD in environmental science because he predicted the green eggs and ham. Thus, Dr. Moodle was not supported by

The following narrative was found written on a bank statement envelope in the back pocket of a miscreant youth in Arkham, MA. Near the end the writing becomes an illegible scrawl.

Na Joana està desconsolada

Once upon a time, in Filipa's house she started to hear strange noises which came from her closet

"Where's the remote?" she asked dully, right at the end of the 4th quarter. I glared at her, but extended my retractable arm to change the channel. I had to obey.

I heard footsteps coming nearer and louder...sweats rolling down my face. " Who's there!?" I shouted. Suddenly a gun pointed at my face...

I remember when I tripped over my dog and broke my nose on my bedside table and stabbed my eye. Do you remember when

We were on the Budapest-Prague train. The American opposite was infuriating. He'd paid my excess in dollars as the conductor had refused forints or sterling. But he wouldn't accept

A gargoyle and a voluptuous blonde assisted The amazing Pamplemousse at the Picadilly. In his shaman costume he'd flimflam the crowd by whispering the magic words "rigaton salami

Det. Manatee knew the arsonist was either a man with gender issues or a woman, because a CD with Alicia Keys' "Girl on Fire" was glued to the curb in front of each burned out