Snoopy was sleeping on his dog house when

Snoopy was sleeping on his dog house when Woodstock

decided to host the largest music festival this side of the Mississippi. Woodstock declared the name of the festival "Woodstock", much to Snoopy's dismay. Headlining acts included

Snoopy's alter ego, Snoop Dogg. He had no idea his feathered friend was a narc, or that his eponymous festival was a grand bust. Cops stormed the stage during "Gin & Juice" with

a Sting operation. The Police joined in the chorus singing "with my mind on my money & my money on my mind". Woodstock turned out to be a phoenix with fiery plumage. Jimi Hendrix

was actually an FBI informant. That wasn't his hair, that was a big, sick microphone transmitting all this cool backstage stuff to the G-men. Woodstock?

That festival was a most famous excuse to lace the emperor's fruit punch with arsenic. She died after listening to Jimi Hendrix. The case was never solved, until 2016.

In 2016, the never having already been established the case was closed as UNSOLVED & all copies of it were burned as was all the unclaimed evidence. Then in October of 2017 the JFK

incident happened again, only this time the victim was Trump, the killer the same person. The police rushed to get the evidence to convict the killer but only

after going out for doughnuts and coffee. The police had no idea that the killer's day job was at the very doughnut shop where they had stopped. Even his bloody plastic gloves did

n't get their attention, & he'd left them in plain sight next to the kruellers! His "special" glazed donuts did, though & they finished accordingly.Five dead cops later, he closed.