"I'm a feather duster and I'm okay." "That's fantastic. Could you dust my house for me?" "NOT TODAY." The PETA activists had arrived, plucking the feathers and returning them to

The end.

I'm one of those guys that write your name on a piece of rice. Not very interesting I know, but the CIA did need my services once.

This little light o' mine...I'm gonna let it shine. This little light o' mine...I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. Don't let the devil POOF it out.

Beware my son, the Rainbow pirates. Looking like mostly harmless later day hippies who want to save the world, they've been known to enter armed vessels with shaming banners

Spacey LaFete lived in a Quonset hut down at the southern end of Turkey Creek, a place where the Wallahatchi once roamed...where now there are trailers filled with Rednecks.

Charles new what was coming next. The pancake flew through the air; it's velocity reaching maximum as it splattered across Meggie's face, destroying her cherub-like demeanor to cre

When it came to the women's ski jumping world championships nobody expected Mobitu from the Democratic Republic of Congo to even qualify. Mobitu had an indoor ski jump at her home

wanna hear a story? A storie like you've never heard before, a story so unbelievable you probably won't believe it, come listen to my story. it all began 18 years ago in a place ca

He was a sheep in wolfs clothing, running with the pack, howling at the gibbous moon. He'd managed to avoid sniffing butts up to now & If he could just get close to the alpha male

David Letterman's Top 10 Reasons Why Hillary Clinton Will Win The Presidency: #10: Unlike her male counterparts, she actually grew a pair.

Jenny works in Leamington Spa

The Director feels like you should be more patriotic in conducting your business. The Director wants to remind you that all of your Citizen's privileges are only one red mark from

HAHAHAHAHAHAH CHEESE TURTLES

To avoid getting nipped by the fuzz and ending up in the hoosegow I had to shimmy down a thingamajig and make like a schoenobatist. I'd absconded with a plethora of doohickeys and

Why is it that every time I say the word "Alfalfa", everyone looks at me like I

I have an idea!

IT'S TIME TO PLAY FAMILY FEUD!!!! Name something grandpa would do if grandma tells him she's pregnant.

My head was pounding; it felt like two elephants playing ping-pong on my forehead. I had the television tuned to CNN, but nobody mentioned anything about the bank heist.

I think it's the most natural thing in the world to make fun of stuff because things are really stupid. And so if you happen to be a writer and you think a lot of things are stupid