Hartwig dried his hair with a towel but didn't comb, put on some holey jeans & platform shoes. He was still a short german with a big American car & a deathwish. He stomped on the

I hate looking in the mirror or seeing me naked. I have decided that in order not to have these stripes and polka dots I will join a decoloration gym.

One , cold, creepy night a girl was walking around her town after a row with her parents, salty tears run down her face while she walks around alone

And there was world peace. Ever harmonious speech flowed from tounges across the land

Hi, my name is Dirk and I am looking for someone special. I like cherries. I like pineapples, though we call them ananas. And if you read this, I'd probably like to meet you. [end]

Sheila was never the brightest. They told her she couldn't pour piss out of a boot if they wrote directions on a heel - she didn't get it, of course. But one day Dr. Milo Krazinski

WHAT ARE THOSE!???!!!??!!!

Behold the beauty of my newest invention! With the flip of this one switch, you see, the cranial cavity is exposed. Then simply insert the brain of your choosing & tighten here.

Just so you know, I am narrating again. I told my reflection in the monitor next to my head that he, meaning me, should really go do those dishes that he started on this morning.

"Of course, I also want total immunity and 10 million deposited in my bank account in the Seychelles. Oh, and that painting in your lounge would fit beautifully in my toilet"

Knees shaking, I stared out into the endless multitude before me. I could not believe where I stood. The piano concluded the introduction; I started to sing.

Sometimes when you are bored, you stare at a clock. I know I do, for a fact. But, when a random sheep pops up in your room, the total opposite happens.

Al took his singing masturbation act on the road, reinventing himself as “Sonny Bone-OH!” Song parodies like “Beat the Meat Goes On” & “A Cowboy Jerks It Till He’s Done” were Al’s

I was following the directions, but something wasn't right. I turned the car left down a bumpy dirt road and rolled slowly passed a half eaten animal carcass the size of a boulder.

"Girl you got more legs than a bucket o-chicken an did I mention you got inpeccable taste. Get it? In-peck-a-bull? Peck peck peck. Can I give you a peck right here?" Joleene rolled

I always get the best fortune cookie fortunes. This one told me that I would

If I start a story...

Susy had always been a happy girl. This ended when she once heard about World War II and all its cruelties that took place. Especially one story about a...

The pretender king of the cats is outside making his case. The crowd is ominously quiet. The still before the storm? There are some whispers about a resistance movement being born.

The spooky ghost appeared out of nowhere. "OH MY GOD" Jenny cried, "HE'S STANDING THERE....MENACINGLY!!!" Indeed, the ghost was standing rather menacingly, and was looking hungrily