As a pastor of the Utilitarian Church of Objective Philosophy I've married people with cars, roller coasters, ferris wheels, video game characters & garden fences, but now I'll

Thank you for being with us today Zach. Let's start by having you compare and contrast this film to all other films that have been made.

Okay, let me get this strait: I AM NOT A CRIMINAL! Just because right now I'm in handcuffs in a police car on my way to jail does not mean I'm a criminal. I didn't kill no one!

-LUNKER! SPE-LUNKER! The reclusive, hermit mole man! Spe-lunker! Spe-lunker! A friend to all the kids!

I listened to it again. "Rickety ... tickety ... bumlickety ... fu shnickety?" Near as I could figure Fu-Schnickens rickshaw had been ticketed outside of an anal enthusiast's estab

The earwig looked around the doorframe for the last time. "Freedom," she thought, "How I've dreamed of you." All those long hours of just being another pest were finally at an end.

Sometimes, when Elfrida the pink sugar elephant felt sad, she'd call Bernie the liquorice panda. "Bernie, I have to talk. It's the white sugar mice. I can't stand their string tail

It was a quiet morning company was still sleeping, I took my leisure enjoying the birds inging while I spped my hot vanilla drink. The beautiful mountians now covered in white call

It is said that Picasso, with his last breath, whispered, "Modigliani." Likewise would SlimWhitman expire, issuing the name of his mortal fold nemesis. "MoralEnd..."

"With fire magic, the latin-y words don't make you catch fire; rather, magic shifts our timeline to one in which you'd happen to catch fire via other means. So you see, Your Honor,

It's always the dude with the monster schlong that wants to hit the nudie beach. But I guess that's how the world works; play to your strengths. So the seven of us ended up on a

"Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don't have feathers. Stop comparing. There's plenty of room in the forest!" Mr. Fox & his running

Anpanman scarfed two anpan and felt the ankō power course through him. He grew to a spongy girth and bounced down the street shooting sticky goo at Zillachan and the the hoard of

Buttercup. Yellow. Sun. Ra. Cleopatra. Asp. Stripes. Tiger. Burning. Symmetry. Circle. Egg. Sperm. Tadpole. Croak. Crickets. Wickets. Grass. Daisy. Buttercup.

One cold night on old Mars, Jherek Manatee went down to the canal and began to croon: "I am a lone starfaring stranger, traveling through these worlds alone. There is no

It was a monday morning, a school holiday ,i was still sleeping in my bed, suddenly, i heard my mother shouting' tom wake up ' but i refused to wake up and my mother use a pail of

I was at an avant garde concert. It was super quiet & then BANGBANGBANG!! a helluva noise. The 6 month foetus in my womb starjumped into my lungs. Would that permanently affect it?

Aristocrats from all around gathered in Kensington Hall to determine whose china was gleamiest. Madam Paddingston set her chip-and-dip serving china on the judging table. Gasps of

"Awesome dude! We found your toe! You'll be famous. We'll put the vid on youtube & send your toe to Dawson City." "I want my toe back." "No way, Finder's keepers. You can drink it!

This grandma wanted to revive the corpse of Dean Martin for one last drink.