Jim drove a red car,an Impala reflecting the sun as a mirror covered in blood.Through the desert,he drove for 3 days and 3 nights and by the night of the 4th day he just couldn't

How to cure an anemic dolphin: First, take the dolphin and

The man rolled over the table, smashing a few collector's items on the way as bullets fired from him to me. Luckily I had a plan. Before this even started, I had made sure to

Elliot was always unlucky at school. Not 'bad' luck, just 'unfortunate' luck. Take this morning for instance, a pigeon had artistically decorated his sports bag with it's

10 Nights in Istanbul. Night 1: slept on the street with a pack of friendly dogs near Galata Tower. Hotel had burned down...electric blanket fire...and i didn't know where to go.

I have been told one thing about this town over and over again. Its a phrase made up of five words. It goes like this,"It rains something rotten here."

Epenthesis, parataxis and zeugma were sitting at a bar when in walked hysteron proteron,

I stood up. Then I lay down. I put my arms tight against my side...and started rolling. I rolled right out Paddywack's door, down the street, down the hill and finally home.

The hunter had long given up on finding his home. His walk to nowhere was his daily journey. However, that nowhere became somewhere today. Before him, deep in the valley, was

One day a man walks into a room and sees a ghost

Why didn't the ginger guy blow himself up at the end of the first series of Homeland?

It's a dog eat dog world thought the Chow chow and ordered a Shih Tzu starter followed by Shar pei main dish but then he changed his mind and went with a

The public is so ridiculously gullible. Most actually believe antifreeze and coolant come in the same bottle. I once sold a balled up piece of paper to a guy as a paperweight for

Last night I discovered a tiny hole in the bedroom wall of my apartment. My jaw dropped when I looked through the hole and saw my neighbor in the throes of passion with a

The crowd fell silent as a dour-looking nun took the stage with a microphone. "Hello all, and welcome to St. Michael and St. John's Elementary 3rd grade production of 'Equus'.

BOOM SHAKA LAKA!

This is my Justice Masterpiece.

What do you fear? Heights? Spiders? Loved ones dying? Loneliness? Well, I don't fear any of that anymore. I can't fear it, because it's already happened. When we lived in Colorado,

Love Actually was shot in England. What people don't know was the Hugh Grant has been dead for 5 years and they were able to

He pressed the play button. "Goodbye world" he proclaimed as he did so. then the song began to play. "7 AM Wakin' up in the morning, gotta be fresh gotta get down stairs"