10 Nights in Istanbul. Night 1: slept on

  • 10 Nights in Istanbul. Night 1: slept on the street with a pack of friendly dogs near Galata Tower. Hotel had burned down...electric blanket fire...and i didn't know where to go.

  • Istanbul Night 2: A wicked flea infestation exploded in my beard. Still no luck unloading the rest of these discount electric blankets. I think I'm cursed. Will Night 3 be better?

  • Instanbul Night 3: Went to a Hamam.My flea infestation is gone but so is my tattoo. The scrubbing took off more than dead skin.Ouch! Noone wants my electric blankets. Cash is low.

  • Pride even lower. But this was revenge. The arms dealer was on the third floor. I shook the knob three times. "Let's see it" he shouted. I held the eye ball by the nerve over the p

  • urple peephole so he could see the eye. 'Aye, I see!' cried the arms dealer. The heavy door slowly creaked open. I stepped over the threshold into the dimly lit room. Arms galore

  • reaching out to me, fingers extended, imploring... I eyed the wide variety of arms. Long & skinny, muscular, some tattooed, others dimpled & rosy. The arms dealer blinked & asked

  • if I'd been helped, then recommended gopher grenades on aisle 25. I got lost in munitions for use on neighbors' gardens. Shopping in America can be so demanding. I accidentally

  • Bought an AR15 and forgot all about it until the burglar entered and I shot him in self defense. I got away with murder. I only told my therapist about it. She understood. I vanish

  • ed without a trace for 20 years, but I always remembered what my therapist told me. "Always follow your heart, even if it means hurting people you love," she advised. On the run,

  • I trampled Aunty Fay's favorite flower bed, & shoved Cousin Greg into an open sewer hole as I sped to make my cardiology appointment. Slam dunk, dear shrink- for once I'm on time!



  1. Magic Apr 04 2016 @ 20:15

    I might have nightmares about the arms dealer...

  2. SlimWhitman Apr 05 2016 @ 01:40


  3. Scribbly Apr 27 2016 @ 16:26

    IceSquad must have a direct telepathic link with GreenBanana. I also liked Magic's fold cause I am always amused when therapists who are arguably more messed up than their clients are handing out advice. Bob Newhart plays one in a hilarious MadTV sketch called "Stop it." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h046gFGGZkU

  4. Magic Apr 27 2016 @ 21:41

    Thanks, Scribbly! That sketch is hilarious.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!