I'd never smoked bath salts before. I'd never done any drug before. But here I was, high on bath salts on my way to church.

The Rat-King tweeked his wiskers and observed Sewer Kingdom from high up on his throne (which is basically a pipe). Rat underlings scuttled to and fro

"Sorry sir, the country on this passport doesn't exist." The airport clerk hands back the document. "But I've lived there my entire life, how is that possible?" Gerald flails,

The story of the future how can this be

Gilgamesh had grown weary of being a "super dude." Fame had its problems too. He thirsted for the freedom of anonymity so he disguised himself as

When turtles turtle, mocking birds mock, and horses horse around, you know that soon dogs will dog, camels will

"Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer," Elton said softly, slowly. But TD pirouetted away and giggled. "First, count the headlights on the highway!" she said teasingly. Infuriated,

The Ratgod checked his Chinese horoscope for 2013 and learned, to his dismay, that this is the year he would most likely experience loneliness.

The beautiful lady with long blonde hair walked into the hotel with her luggage. She was on holiday in North Korea and everywhere she went

I had just gotten over my fear of mickey mouse, when

Jeff & Jane stood hand in hand, their toes hanging over the cliff. "Ready?" Jane nodded. "On the count of 3...One...two...three..." They fell together into the dark precipice.

By 3 a.m. most of his skin had peeled off. The blood loss was obscene, but the fact that he was still "alive" confounded him. He had always been under the impression that he needed

"I am the Oracle of Knuckleheadery," said the sage. He wore a No Fear shirt, with a batman cape, he sat on a thrown that was a bean bag and drank Pabst Blue Ribbon.

After Disney sucked it dry and left it to die in the form of 23 installments, the Star Wars franchise received a little mouth-to-mouth from the adult film industry. Episode XXX was

I was immeasurably pissed off. I had the rows in my zen garden perfectly aligned, each rock balanced, each shadow beautiful. Then when placing the rake back in it's place, a door

I couldn't believe my eyes! The last thing I expected to see when I looked out my window was that!

"Aww, is it moving day again, daddy? I was just starting to like this place." "Yes, dear. Every Tuesday. Pack only what you can carry." Nick Nomad and his family clan set out for

'If I could bring you back to life, I really would, I really would - Mama.' said Richard looking at the old, sepia-tinged photograph. The blood-stained knife was still in his hand

"You talking to me?" The thug angrily asked, as he eyed me down. "Yeah, what are you gonna do about?" I replied

Ambrose Bierce Street in San Francisco is not really a street. It's a narrow dead end alley, which seems strangely appropriate. Don Swaim calls it a "rank passageway." Would Bierce