"Damn this weather" Marcine said, peering out of the gap in her blinds. "Dark and stormy nights are so cliche. Guess we're not going to the movies tonight!" She turned to her guest

When you've just murdered 10 people, you'd think you'd feel at least a few pangs of guilt. But all I could think of was a nice, hot shower to wash the blood off.

The doctor was arrogant. "B'chugerroth? These are old wives' tales, Katelyn," he sniffed. "There's no demon here. Just old superstitions that die hard." But the wind told otherwise

After many rejections, in a cynical ploy, this time he sent poems from famous poets which he'd run back and forth between online english and russian translators a few times

Her skin-tight T shirt read: 'Hey! Check out my knockers! Aren't they tremendous!' OK, it didn't say *exactly* that, but that was the message I got loud and clear. I decided to

"What a life I had" exclaimed the old man sitting in his front porch. Unbeknown to the fact that his life was far from finished, as an invasion of Frenchmen was taking place a few

Kopi Luak or 'civet coffee! I'll just bet a bunch of natives were sitting around half drunk and one of them said I'll bet you we could get the whities to drink Civet shit and pay

I was at the bar again and I'd had a few. I thought I said/meant to say: Hey, I'm Paul. You're pretty. Would you care to join me for a drink this evening? But what I actually said

'Congratulations! You are the winner of a 7 night 5 star trip to the Bahamas!' said the pop-up on my screen. I thought I had installed that damn pop-up-blocker! I clicked on it and

It was one thing to read about them, another entirely to see one in person - the perfect coppery scales glinting in the hellish light from the magma pool, eyes like lasers seeking

THEN: Cat's Cradle was a game for young girls with pieces of string. NOW: Xtreme KatZ Kradl is the number one competive sport on ESPN among midwest knitters. Sponsored by Red Bull

When their tongues met, it was like magic. It was like it was ment to be. He never knew he wanted to be with someone so badly before. And it wasn't like he never had sex before

"Look daddy, I drew a puppy!" Billy exclaimed. His father skeptically examined the picture and surmised, "Actually son, that looks like a

Mr. Ham R. Tongs pointed at the pie chart. "As you can see, we spent too much on Manhole Covers this fiscal year. I purpose we switch from cast iron to corregated cardboard."

он съел кашу

All that anybody could talk about was the huge amount of blood, but there was a lot more to this story about a crack deal gone awry than anybody really knew. For one thing, Henry

Don't read this story. Seriously. It's uncreative, the transitions are awkward, and there's no wit to be found. You'd feel less pleasure than a Scorpio with an Aquarius wife, or

"Will these friggin' tools every give up?" Zuckerberg asked to nobody in particular. "Who, the hackers?" asked this assistant. "No, the Winklevoss twins, they just

I learnt that things can change in an instant. One minute you're feeling wonderful and the next minute things can go topsy-turvy. Little did I know when I boarded the flight how

Bill Clinton scorched the top of the creme brulee with a cigarette lighter and some aquanet. "Little thing I leanred in the service" he crooned, with the cigar