Just got out of the hospital. Only hurts when I laugh. Feeling fine. I am alive and well. You'll never believe what happened to me in there, though. When I was in the OR,

"Aye, a comely lass you aarrrrr. How'd ye like to play me bagpipes?" These & many other foreign accent pick-up lines will be yours, for the low low price of 19.95. What are you

The blonde was red ...

In a ship on the open sea, I stood at the helm. "Cap'n!" my faithful servant said. I turned to see him waving around a baby tyrannosaurus. "It finally hatched, Cap'n!" he cried.

It was a gay joy. Just divine and absolutely fabulous. We held hand in hand gazing at the round rainbow's curve, so tremendously endowed, it was.

My uncle was obsequious, purple & clairvoyant, pompous, obese & ate cactus, dull, boring & omnipresent & criticized things he didn't know about. "He needs his knees removed!" said

"I'm back" She whispered tauntingly into her victims ear. "*Giggle* D'ya miss me. Hmm!! Did'ya did'ya!! " Choking on his own blood the man desperately tried to reply. There would b

Keith had stumbled on the winning combination of monosyllabic AND grumpy quite by accident. But when he used this technique on his sister's best friend's cousin, the effect wa

Tonight

Ted's senior year was marked by an Evil Teacher. This Evil Teacher bedeviled and tormented Ted, but was also a blessing in disguise.

In Bob's back yard, night fell later in summer, but when it fell you couldn't even see the starless sky. Bob sensed something being silent, something that knew he was listening

We were on the Budapest-Prague train. The American opposite was infuriating. He'd paid my excess in dollars as the conductor had refused forints or sterling. But he wouldn't accept

"Your mama!" "My mama what?" "Your mama wears fish stockings!" It was true. There was a tangle of mackerel, sardine & puffer fish caught in them. But my mama was the fishwife

The protesters gathered outside the palace, chanting "The End is HERE!" many people had no idea what the large crowd was doing, It was a great day to be on Alderaan! The Birds were

My boat's too big big to get me to France.

ribbit.

Nancy Drew took a long drag of the joint and handed it to one of the Hardy Boys. "Work's been slow," she said. "Us, too." She pushed a Candyland playpiece across the map thoughtful

I opened the door. "Trick-or-treat!" the princess and the ninja turtle shouted, holding out their bags. "Trick!" I shouted back, slamming the door. Then I waited.

The bird speaks. Or does it? I had always questioned my mental health in the coming years but today my psychiatrist told me that everything was fine. I was starting to doubt her...

Ambrose Bierce Street in San Francisco is not really a street. It's a narrow dead end alley, which seems strangely appropriate. Don Swaim calls it a "rank passageway." Would Bierce