Then she farted.

Captain Haberdash sailed the seven seas (well, technically, he only sailed six of them, but he just told people about the seventh, and he knew a guy who had seen it so really he

"Taste it." "No." "Just take a taste." "No." "One taste?" "No." "At least smell it." "I don't want to." "Just a whiff?" "Nope." "I'll waft it under your nose."

Cheap perfume and cigarettes filled the air. The priest was defiantly out of his element here. Why had he let himself come to such a god forsaken party?

Hardy knew that fucker spilled that scalding water on purpose. But Laurel's dead, soulless eyes, the eyes of a killer, meant he couldn't hurt him directly. Oh god, did he know?

Homeschooling your children is an act of aggression against the state. Growing your own food is a display of defiance against your rulers. Arming and protecting your own home is a

The skilled pearl diver Tamatori was betrothed to the samurai lord Fujiwara. In lieu of the dowry he suggested she recover the black pearl from Dragon Lord Ryujin's undersea palace

John Glover popped up into my vision, sitting at my desk. "Hi, Lex! I found ya, Lex! Lex! Leeeeex! Leeeeeex!" "What, dad?" I asked, exasperated. "You're bald, son." He smiled.

He seated the cabbages with respect and served them bowls of buckwheat groats and cups of fine black tea. Most people were inconsiderate savages, but he felt comfortable and hoped

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, it was a dark and stormy night. A door slammed and a shot rang out! The maid screamed. A pirate ship appeared on the horizon.

All that was left was to think of a catchy band name. Crab Rangoon was bandied about, but ultimately discarded. Lenny suggested Feta-ed Fetid Fetus (he always had to get cheese

"Alright, who was the nimrod who ground down a mascara pencil in my automatic pencil sharpener!" The office was silent but all eyes fell on

"It's not a TUBAH!" shouted the Austrian botanist. "It's a drupe!"

This world's remaining strange mysteries exist among the nooks and crannies of civilization.

So he broke down and bought the nook. When he turned it on their was a message. It was strange because the message from a dead person named Ralphie. The message

The streetlight cast just enough light through the hovering insects to create silhouettes of the six combatants. Even though I couldn’t make out individual features, I knew most

Anyone who might have glanced my way would think nothing of me walking through the neighborhood in the morning. It was a school day and kids carry bags to school all the time.

He had nerves of steel. He'd been busted for selling unlicensed boradcast credits to the Pleasure Maffia on an off-moon base and spent forty rotations in the Pit Barns, so

The want ads abound with mediums offering their service, and you really have to stick out somehow to get any business. The typo in my ad "Medium exercises horny ghosts"

It was a gritty scene - like a train wreck. Everybody wanted to look away but nobody could pull themselves to. The detective decided a prognosis was in order. "It appears this man