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  • 30
    Avatar
    When the Elder Gods moved in to the vacant house on Cherry Lane, Mable Klump had been the first brave soul to welcome them, cheesy broccoli casserole in hand. Her sanity blasted
    Finished
    2015-09-12 06:43:46
    Took
    2 years, 318 days, 14 hours, 15 minutes, 34 seconds
  • 37
    Avatar
    The drums took over the moment. We all looked to the sky where we watched Melancholy Man fly away with Little Nell on her swan behind him. The birds all seemed to coo on cue & Blue
    Finished
    2020-05-25 21:23:59
    Took
    2 years, 318 days, 15 hours, 45 minutes, 30 seconds
  • 43
    Avatar
    "Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!" yelled Santa Pirate. "Death from on high!" He launched a tactical nuclear missile from a robotic reindeer drone. The ExFed truck deployed anti-air
    Finished
    2016-11-08 12:37:38
    Took
    2 years, 318 days, 22 hours, 12 minutes, 32 seconds
  • 19
    Avatar
    Only really really smart people will be able to make sense of this story. Oh yes, it is a tale involving all of humankind' s greatest conflicts, but with definite resolution. Bob
    Finished
    2016-05-25 11:53:12
    Took
    2 years, 319 days, 4 hours, 33 minutes
  • 27
    Avatar
    Come on Millie! Come on, girl. Let's go! COME ON MILLIE!! Want a goodie? Turkey?? Bye-byes??
    Finished
    2016-05-06 07:41:13
    Took
    2 years, 319 days, 5 hours, 47 minutes, 10 seconds
  • 27
    Avatar
    Monkeys don't wear shoes, how could I've been so stupid? The half-monkey sneered at me and took my cell phone. He sniffed it and decided it was useless. There goes my escape route.
    Finished
    2014-11-22 16:46:45
    Took
    2 years, 319 days, 9 hours, 6 minutes, 23 seconds
  • 28
    Avatar
    The Keebler elves had had enough. The Smurfs mushroom houses stunk to high heaven and were rotting the trunks of their homes, they grabbed tubby off the E.L. fudge line
    Finished
    2014-04-23 23:55:50
    Took
    2 years, 319 days, 21 hours, 6 minutes, 49 seconds
  • 19
    Avatar
    It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.
    Finished
    2016-03-17 19:59:10
    Took
    2 years, 320 days, 1 hour, 11 minutes, 38 seconds
  • 68
    Avatar
    "Ahem" he said. "The suggestion box was completely empty again except for this message: I AM HORNY. All caps. Now, this leads me to believe
    Finished
    2015-12-09 10:40:49
    Took
    2 years, 320 days, 11 hours, 36 minutes, 31 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    Connel stood on the roof of Century tower in his kilt, inflated his Bag pipe and on the count of midnight began to play Auld Lang Syne.
    Finished
    2015-11-17 16:03:20
    Took
    2 years, 320 days, 16 hours, 55 minutes, 58 seconds
  • 21
    Avatar
    "Stop that. Stop that right now." Billybob, the meek policeman, squeaked at the thief. "Oh, OK." the criminal replied, ashamed of his bad behavior. Billybob was a legend among cops
    Finished
    2016-07-28 17:21:37
    Took
    2 years, 321 days, 2 hours, 9 minutes, 51 seconds
  • 38
    Avatar
    Homo neanderthalis had a tendency to eschew sex in favor of playing pinochle. Thus the sex=meh gene doomed them to extinction where as Homo sapiens sex=fun gene meant that
    Finished
    2015-04-16 19:18:11
    Took
    2 years, 321 days, 2 hours, 18 minutes, 40 seconds
  • 24
    Avatar
    When Roland was shot in the eye a heavy Gloire de Dijon rose sprang from the bloody socket. It's roots penetrated his brain and sucked what life he had left to produce a perfume
    Finished
    2016-11-27 08:33:50
    Took
    2 years, 321 days, 9 hours, 28 minutes, 16 seconds
  • 32
    Avatar
    I looked at Cherie, staring deep within her soul, through the eyes. I knew she was lying but I didn't know how to react. If I called her out, she'd be embarrassed. If I let her
    Finished
    2017-08-29 22:30:04
    Took
    2 years, 321 days, 9 hours, 38 minutes, 58 seconds
  • 17
    Avatar
    I scream as shoop da woop says,"I'M A FIRE IN MY LAZOR" then terrified I
    Finished
    2014-03-20 22:59:11
    Took
    2 years, 321 days, 11 hours, 46 minutes, 10 seconds
  • 30
    Avatar
    The moonlight shines as I await the presence of the Dark league warrior and his war hound named Dracos. I'm the queen of this universe, he is to gather the other Dark warriors.
    Finished
    2018-03-30 20:59:24
    Took
    2 years, 321 days, 16 hours, 12 minutes, 27 seconds
  • 45
    Avatar
    Cage Wests' college track days are paying off as he gains on the the diamond thief he has tracked over three continents and two years.
    Finished
    2017-02-25 11:46:38
    Took
    2 years, 321 days, 20 hours, 51 minutes, 37 seconds
  • 67
    Avatar
    The day the orbs came out of the woods, Benjamin was startled but not surprised. He had heard rumors and intimations for decades, despite the commercial clutter that afflicted his
    Finished
    2017-09-11 22:31:53
    Took
    2 years, 321 days, 21 hours, 19 minutes, 56 seconds
  • 42
    Avatar
    I'm sorry," she said stiffly, "but I won't have you coming round here swearing like a porn star and upsetting the dogs."
    Finished
    2016-11-07 15:27:19
    Took
    2 years, 322 days, 2 hours, 58 minutes, 40 seconds
  • 47
    Avatar
    Then Clarence Darrow let his suspenders crack against his chest. Like a slap against the whole courtroom. Mopped his head and screamed,"What the HELL is a "Money-Money?" I ask you
    Finished
    2015-01-24 14:06:36
    Took
    2 years, 322 days, 15 hours, 14 minutes, 21 seconds
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