"Dave whats the secret to your steak man!" Mike exclaimed. "You really wanna know?" Dave asked. Mike nodded enthusiastically. "Well the two main ingredients are napalm and bleach."

He was scared, very scared. It had started with the sound of shattering glass. Then, he heard something crawl through the window next to the kitchen. He ran into his closet, hoping

The skies crackled in a brilliant red, a masterpiece in the eyes of a troubled mind. Who was this child, staring blankly at the oncoming storm, just standing there, almost admiring

The dust that gathers under your bed is a mix of human hair, skin, soot from air polution & interstellar dust. It must have been some complex organic molecules from space combined

I became suspicious that my schizophrenia had returned when I happened to glance in the bowl. Corn? I hadn't eaten corn in months. There was a hard knock at the door.

Today, C'thulhu woke up and got himself coffee. He checked the news headlines, only to discover that Donald Trump was now president. Of course, C'thulhu reacted with

After the gig me and the boys hooked up with the groupies, and as true rock-gods hit up some Charlie and champagne, things spiralled out of control when Jimmy the guitarist smashed

The wind was so strong I could barely felt my hands which are currently in my sweater's little pocket. "Tessa! Tessa!" Someone yelled. To my amaze, it was her.."Grandma!" I cried.

I am trying as hard as I can, to destroy the old man's house but to no avail.

While doing a weekly cleaming, Madame Dujardin received a package by pigeon post from a M. Veloux at 32 Ave. De Chaussoise. She opened it and found the following: 1. A book titled

"Joy of Cooking," pg. 929, Chicken Nugget recipe: 1) Slaughter chickens 2) Cleave into fun dinosaur shapes 3) Throw away 4) Guzzle pink slime 5) Wash down with soylent pink soda 6)

did i take it too far? no. because satan is my master.

The red Skittle army was slowly but steadily advancing on the weakened green forces. But what's this?! A yellow ambush! I ate four reds and a yellow. Mmmmm. The reds retreated back

He climbed down the stairs. He felt sick. He couldn't realise what he had just done. He wasn't afraid, really, he was just sick. He felt like he had eaten a whole bowl of raw frogs

The large man in the pink pants

"PLYMOUTH COLONY MASSACRED!" the headlines screamed. "ABORIGINAL TRIBES REPUDIATE PROTESTANTISM, CITE DISDAIN FOR LATENT UNITARIANISM! RISIBILITY TOWARDS TRANSCENDENTALISM FEARED!"

The letter 'a' is canary yellow, with fuzzy edges.

I spent yesterday lining up to vote in the Afghan election so I'm laid up today with a severe case of burka rash. The only known cure for burka rash is to take one goat grazed on

Most super heroes devote their lives to fighting crime. I was different. I decided to devote myself to solving 1st world problems. People who lived in highly developed countries

the different types of sacraments of initiation are baptism confirmation communion