Superman stomped in. Grizzled. Unshaved. He grabbed the Johnny Walker from the bartender. No protest. He slugged back a shot. Then flicked beer nuts at hypersonic speed just to

It was on an endless loop. Eternally. Forever. "I am job." Robin Williams said in Mrs. Doubtfire. Weird. Creepy. Over and over again, "I am job."

From jail, Lance Armstrong tweeted daily that crop circles were alien messages about the dangers of GMO corn. Determined to save Earth upon his release, he rode his bike to Iowa

I'm in a couch. No lie.

The Merlins and Morgaines and all their holy sisters and brothers of the poor sad Earth flexed their wings and sent their sigils and their blessings forth, to no avail. But still,

Having just completed my meta-analysis of all 84,025 folds to date, and correcting for coincidence, collusion, and allowed randomization, I have concluded that

One day, I was running on the beach and fell into a huge hole.

Seeking a brief reprieve from taking care of grandmother, I made my way to the bathroom. I had heard from family that she was hiding some strong stuff in her medicine cabinet,

It was in the days of junkfood prohibition. Ed was crossing the canadian border with a duffle full of twinkies. A risky stage was the

Mr Obsessive-Compulsive had just washed his car. He then drove his car to his mother's house. Along the way he crossed a bridge with a Pelican sitting on a street light. Splat!

He gurgled, he growled. He huffed and he squinted. The ground rolled and the dust lit gloom hovered. The praying mantis lifted his cataract coated goggles and peered into the dist

Once upon a time, there was no time. It came later, but it was late. Time marches on and waits for no man; however, for a woman, time stands still until she is ready.

He eats a lot because he has an emotional

Sarah meet a prince named Mark. They soon after were in love with each other. One night the prince looked into her eyes and realized that she looked beautiful in the moonlight. He

Emilio had almost dozed off twice on the long straight stretch of desert highway when one of the watermelons in the flatbed ahead of him exploded causing a chain reaction

Once upon a time, there was a tiny little mouse.

The limerick is furtive and mean, You must keep her in close quarantine, Or she sneaks to the slums, And promptly becomes, Disorderly, drunk and obscene.

Gangrene had left Clementine with a limp. Well actually two limps - one to the left, one to the right. These rare double limps cancelled each other out. She seemed to glide.

Coach Goatham was standing in the change room doorway when he said "Has anyone seen my ball sack?" The teenage boys erupted into fits of laughter. Coach Goatham became upset

Roscoe was a Boston Terrier in a Top Hat, super cute but also, hideously evil.