I'm in a couch. No lie.

I'm in a couch. No lie.

Not sure how exactly I got stuck here inside this couch, but I sure do enjoy how different people sit on my face all day. I've seen all sorts of things!

But the worst of all are the malodorous puffy asses of the diaper wearing senior elitists. They had been trying to infiltrate Bobby's Nightclub and Piano Lounge for nigh on 2

Weeks, but with only partial success. Mabel had managed to sweet talk her way past the bodyguard, only to realize al that she'd need to go right back to the Home before they

could make it to the Realm Of Sarador. "Fuck!" said Mabel, "I left the emerald key at home!" This meant she had to make her way past security another two times, or she'd be

sent back to that Mongolian ghetto she'd struggled to escape. The Emerald Key, retrieved from the stomach of a two-headed Capuchin monkey, held a certain place in her

Heart as it had once been her favourite meal on Sunday night. Her mum had taught her the recipe, which she wrote down. First ingredient was

fetal organs, harvested illegally from Planned Parenthood clinics. The fresher, the better. The second ingredient was

Love. But it had to be the love of newborn baby skunks with their stink-bags removed, or the whole recipe was shot. Julia Child once tried to replace it with carmelized onions, but

there was something missing even with perfumed baby skunks.Love wasn't tidy,he realized.Love needed the stink too.A tear trickled down his cheek.He wasn't sure if it was the onions