I have a great idea for a business for anyone who is unemployed. I call it "The Erotic Soup Company" and all you need is a hotplate, a pot, water, a spoon, and a street corner.

"Oh man, I don't know what was in that eggnog, but BOY DO I FEEL FINE! HEY YOU! WANNA PIECE OF THIS? YEAH!! WAZZAAAAA, HAHAHA WHOOOOO!" I didn't see the cop approaching

Can you do me a favor and just hold on to these two sticks? Thanks. If you need me, I'll be behind the ballistic glass. Just wait for my signal.

"Give me an H" (Crowd: "H!") "Give me a P" (Crowd: "P") Give me an "S" (Crowd: "S") What's that spell? (Crowd: "HhhhPpppSsss!")

I began to sob, he was being so mean to me. I've been there since the beginning and he's just throwing it all away, like I did something horrible enough to deserve it all.

That morning when I got to my first period class. Things were different. Everyone stared at me. They all knew the terrible thing I had done.

Every strum seemed to have an effect on the nature of our existence, our outlooks, and our world. We hit a C chord, sending pulsations though the foliage, vibrating in our souls.

I was in my room when i saw a spider and it bit me. I turned into spiderwoman and got green goblin and then i was on my way home when another spiderwoman came up and it was on, so

Starship NX5-231 was conveying her human research crew through the Tergulian Sector when she detected the faint strains of Joteo Prang's cover of "Starfaring Stranger" on channel

if your happy an u no it clap ur hands (clap_clap) if you happy an u no it clap ur hands (clap_clap) if ur happy and u noe it and ur face will surely show it if ur happy an u no it

The end.

I believed before anyone even told me that there was Someone or something to believe in. I knew it in the deepest of my being, as if I had come from the spiritual realm myself.

I'd never felt true fear until that night. And I'd never truly experienced the thoughts of dread that I had then since. I'm still hazy on what happened, but here's what I remember.

So the undertaker was tired. So tired that he was going a bid flaky. He started feigning accents, even with his friends. M'lady need anythin?

"Take it." I looked down at the old man and smiled. "Thank you." I said. He walked away leaving me standing there on the street corner holding a dead gerbil. I began to regret

Be careful what you wish for, for instance; don’t fold souls into inanimate objects of papery wrath.

Today, I made the most momentous decision of my life. And then, almost immediately, I changed my mind. This all happened as I changed the tire on my five year old Toyota Camry.

One day Taylor was walking through the cold snow to reach his eight o'clock class, which started in five minutes. He was halfway there when the wind picked up and blew off his hat.

The lanky superhero stumbled over his words with the wit and sophistication of a stringy strand of melted cheese. "Geeyeez man!"

...and my dad, he never showed me that he loved me." Ted weeped a little. Dabbed his moist eyes with tissue. The therapists chair swiveled-Genghis Khan sat there. His piercing eyes