"Tony, if you were anymore open minded your brain would fall out."

Nia had something of a raw talent for waxing, though she lacked her sisters' polish. When the twilight of hirsutism threatened the family business, Nia quickly uprooted it with hot

I smelled him burning before I heard him pounding on the oven door. Whoops! Forgot to set the timer! Smoke filled the room as I rushed to the stove. Oven mitts, oven mitts, where

Kayla stared up at the sky, laying on the roof of her farmhouse. Hundreds of thoughts swarmed her head, such as "Why is that one star huge and green?"

Detective J. Manatee's instincts for detection did not help much as he fumbled through the sock drawer of D.I. Monty Rebus, who was snoring on the davenport in his aquatic habitat,

Our host handed out the blasters. "If any of you should linger one full week on Earth, the estate will award you $10,000! The shuttles have gone, the gates are closed. Good luck!"

Dad flopped down into his old brown recliner, the musty scent of trapped gas filling the air. He sighed as a far-away look came to his eyes. Then I heard it. "Daa-aaaad!" I held my

I watched as I floated away from my mother. Who knew being a polar bear could be so tough? I couldn't swim to her, and she couldn't exactly swim to me either. There was a huge

Shannon despaired. She had no purple in her Prosperity sector. She had a spiral staircase and spiral staircases drain chi faster than a rat up a drainpipe. As for her Career corner

DarkMaster must have cast a spell on the Broncos, 'cause right now, they're suckin' pretty bad.

I and my friends went to the cinema threatre when, we got there the movie was about to begin, we quickly sat down and we started munching our popcorn somebody kicked our legs ....

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. Future events such as these will affect you in the future.

I tell you intelligence is a curse. Look at me. I used to be among the heavenly host, looked upon with favor by the Almighty, but I could see that Eden could be so much more if

"You don't understand. No one does. God. My leg is made of a stack of Krispey Kremes. Do you know how hard it is to put my damn shoes on?!?! Of course you don't!" Shouter Ted

Running all across the floor, on the walls and even on to me and over my feet. The cockroaches were everywhere. They seemed to be more concentrated around a carpet. I poked on it

"Oh, really? Really? Oh, oh, that's just, that's just great. Oh, yeah, fantastic. You're a real charmer. You should take that act on the road."

Lieutenant colonel John Dykeson sat alone as he always did from 15 00 - 16 30. The lamp's yellow light cast a jaundiced pallor over his drawn skin. A fan moved but the air was too

"One thing I worry about," he confided at an FSA meeting, "is the mix-and-match, anything-goes stuff. You know, there was some sick Dadaism before the horrors a hundred years ago."

They decided to hold their wedding in the office elevator. "...because" Margo gushed, "that's where we met!" She sighed. The caterer scratched his head. "How many guests?" he asked

What ever happened to Ms. Inatick, the clever cricket-loving Australian lass who is so fond of personifying inanimate objects? Mr. Spatula, what have done to our friend?