Little did I know, I truly was "looking like a fool with my pants on the ground."

She took out the melons. She lifted them to her mouth and nose. They were so ripe they were almost exploding with juice. She rubbed the melons hard to make sure that

We floated through the clouds in the balloon. The Fuschia Fields were as beautiful as the guidebook said. The octopus was prattling on about the dry wind. I yelled over the wind,

It was like any other monotonous day he was living, walking down the same old road he always had, when it happened. He looked up to the sky, saw a glimmer of light, then darkness.

To the save the last of the Yetis found deep in the Himalayas, Goodall teamed up with the acclaimed neurologist Dr. Frankenpepper who planned to graft extra sex organs donated by

I sat staring at the TV,I could feel my eyes slowly start to water. But I couldn't stop watching now, this is my daughters first one there is no way i'm gonna miss it.

The fact that it was a girl making some of those sounds was what got me out of the car and around the side of the station.

I hardly ever wore the dark blue Dockers that hung in my closet neglected until Easter Sunday or the three hours my father reserved for sobriety during my birthday dinner.

In the beginning there was a void and someone shouted out, "Let there be Spam!" So there was and it was good. At least it was when the meat jelly was scraped off. Joe put down his

The meeting was held in the office of the Magistrate. Six men recalling their most recent golf game

Having just been released from Guantanamo without charges, Usama was just trying to start over by driving a cab in New York City. Who would have thought that his first customer was

I very much remember you from the 1980s.

The air of Chormandy filled my nose as I gazed out over the beach. Suddenly, a terrible pain ripped through the my right hand, and shot through my chest like a greasy cheeseburger.

A crocodile and a hippo walk into a bar. The croc says "I'll have a rum and coke, and make it snappy!" The hippo hates that stupid joke. Without thinking, he

By nightfall, I’d formulated a plan. If I followed a trail through the woods, I could get back home in fifteen minutes. I walked slowly and deliberately trying to make as little

Weekend at last! Jamie had chopped his last onion and dressed his last salad. He sneaked a can of fizzy out of his jacket pocket and reached under the sofa for his secret supply of

I laughed until my face hurt. So did she, but it didn’t take as long. We stayed there for a few hours until I decided it was safe to go back and steal some ice for her face.

I hate those jerks who text while they're waiting in line-- oh, hold on. It's my turn to place my Starbucks order.

With long legs crossed, she sat across from me in the little office and mutt5ered to herself, "Where to begin?" She raised her head and said, "You won't believe this but I..

The Easter Bunny crawled closer to the chicken coop. Ass and ears high above the low cut field grass. Anyone even half looking would of seen him. Stealth wasn't his strong suite