"Syphilis. S-y-p-h-i-l-i-s. Syphilis!" "That's correct, Trixie," said Miss Anderdaughter, my first grade teacher. I felt nervous, for it was now my turn in the STD spelling bee.

The Brain had learned to be ready at the front gate to avoid embarrassment so when he was standing there with his laptop backpack on his shoulder, everyone except Rhia was relieved

She hadn’t asked for me help since I nearly burned down the house twice in one week. I’ve never really tried baking after the Christmas cookie incidents, and she never invited me

Over time he had become more like a genuine DMV office worker. Pencils and pens in his bun, his moo moo was the right shade of pink, he had flip flops with that thick sole

When his father finally gave him the Guns n Roses album, he held the vinyl up to the light, as if Slash's leads and Axl's voice would come shimmering through. Then he moved towards

He had been polite in this "romantic" relationship long enough. The brainless courtesies, the phony listening. The repeating. He had made a special dinner so that he could

God how he hated Tuesdays, if it wasn't the motorcycle gangs, it was the school kids, all clamouring for more

Herman was nice. He wore scarves and black-framed glasses. He wasn't gay but he wasn't straight either. The concept of sex seemed boring to him. What he really liked was

Are you kidding me? Are you all so perversed? I read over all the lines I could possibly add to, not finding one fit for me to even humor. I sit, sipping my nightly beverage,

And Superman grabbed Lois and they kissed. Then he said, "You know we can never have sex because when I ejaculate, the yellow sun gives my kiegel muscles super strength and

40 years underground with only IV feeding had made any taste seem special. In fact he was pretty sure the only reason he gotten any dates was for his man-made "protein shakes".

In his dream, Matty had to choose between 3 boxes. The first box was green with the symbol of pi on it. The second was smaller, but was glowing with an unseen light. The third

Cap'n Crunch was pissed. Those uppity Crunchberries had succeeded in removing his name from "their" cereal. Little pink BASTARDS! He'd killed peanut butter Smedley, now he'd crush

My copy of Pokemon Black won't work. I turned my DS Lite on over and over, but it won't work. After a while, i noticed it wasn't a "Licensed by Nintendo" cartridge. It turned on.

The pistol unsheathed itself from his pocket. He never fired it, but waved it around and pointed it when his telekinesis blasted away his enemies. Ballistics would never find a

Beloved actor Charlie Sheen died today aged 45. Following an incident involving

I’ve also been playing with other features of the thing—and am continually amazed at how much it is capable of doing.

"It's chlorophyll," he declared, pointing at a glass of greenish liquid on the table, "The fountain of youth!" I eyed him suspiciously. "So you're a plant vampire then," I replied.

He let the man talk himself silly. He hid his smirk with a knowing nod. He pulled out an application and handed it to him. Then he said, "Look, applications are good, but what

She walked into the bar and said, "Which one of you is a tough guy?" No one raised their hands. "A Bar full of wimps, eh?" Then a man chalking his cue said, "What is that you