"Mother, when are our cousins expected to arrive?"

Big Foot and the Yeti walk into a bar. They sit down in a dark corner. They order two gimlets. They take in the scene. Some hot young debutantes sit down with them. That's when

There is that one thing that everyone knows you just never do, no matter the situation. What Mike was about to do was one of those things that you never, ever do.

a blood-curdling shriek that could have shattered plexi-glass invaded our ears,shredding this erotic moment to pieces.She looked down the ally and whispered.

The office was shocked when the vice president of pizza college gave her 3 weeks notice today. The statistician started to cry, because her awesomeness is 100% irreplaceable.

To whom it may concern STOP My name is Sam, I work at the telegraph factory STOP The telegraphs have become sentient STOP Send help STOP also Diet Coke STOP Just don't

Descubrió que nada de lo que le pertenecía era suyo.

"You are sooo Back A&^wards every day. You always get up fully dressed, but by the time you hit the living room your clothes are off, and you sitting in front of

It was a dark and storm night when a ship crash landed in the ocean. Carrying over 5000 people to Africa.

Ryan Dubberke was wiggling in his seat because he couldn't stand sitting still and not playing baseball for more than 10 minutes. He was a die hard baseball fan. He liked pink too!

Pasternak for Men 1.7 oz EDT

The classroom was buzzing with rowdy, sweaty children. I couldn't even hear myself think.

Shortly after Herman had pushed the button a hidious sound came out of the container. If this was not the end to the Garble people problem he had hand them over to the

Lukewarm orange juice. Two burnt eggs, stale coffee, cold oatmeal. It was a perfectly ruined breakfast. That's why Pat ordered it. He wanted to have a miserable start for the week.

"Go on then - just f--k off!" shouted England. "Think you'll find someone better? Think the EU will put up with your continual sulking!" Scotland was livid. "Yes, the EU LOVES me

Okay, let me get this strait: I AM NOT A CRIMINAL! Just because right now I'm in handcuffs in a police car on my way to jail does not mean I'm a criminal. I didn't kill no one!

Call me, Ishmael.

Sometimes, when Elfrida the pink sugar elephant felt sad, she'd call Bernie the liquorice panda. "Bernie, I have to talk. It's the white sugar mice. I can't stand their string tail

Abruptly,the onomatopoeia rolled off his feral tongue and he kept mooing to the girl sitting on the steps to the brick town house,as she smiled most condescentingly.

I've always been a bit of a klutz. Last week I stumbled in my stilettos and tore a hole in the fabric of reality. It was a blue hole & the edges shimmered like shoals of tiny fish