"Oh, don't be so scared, it's really very easy and not that steep at all. Watch me."

"Once the buttons are undone, you know how it'll all end. It's all in the game, there are no miracles." said the attractive woman. She was explaining XBOX's

My Dr. is a moron. A real dolt. I'm 5-11, 260 and he prescribes me fat pills. Literally the oil from a fish with some kinda lambda 7s or some such bullroar. I laughed in his face

You gotta just tell it like it is, cuz.

"If I don't come back, light a candle for me," I said brusquely. Her eyes glistened and her chin trembled as I tightened my suspenders. This was certainly going to be

All ye beware. The great Guinea Pig Purger has come. He shall cleanse the world of all wickedness--and guinea pigs.

"Cold turkey works for fetishes but you have an obsession", said Dr. Ruth. "You can start by sleeping two nights a week with this inflatable duck." I turned to my inflatable wife

I am walking down the street. My shoes making a soft cuffing noise on the stone walk way. The sky is an empty vastness of black. Where are the stars? Where all the people?

I grew up in a semi. Was potty-trained, learned to read, and even how to gamble before I was three. It was a good life. It was a hard life. It was the only life I knew. And the

I start 'em. You finish 'em. I set 'em up. You knock 'em down. Let's do this dang thing. Ready? Good. You're gonna need your A-game today.

"Save a chicken for the morrow," Granny Grozna always said. But now I felt pity for the chicken, and hoped for a psychotic fugue-state instead. For I had killed my beautiful cousin

John thought of himself as a prospector, staking out a claim for a newly discovered spot. It might have been logical to name it H, but he called in 'J'. He discovered it by acciden

The calliope stopped playing. They turned their red noses to the batwing doors. A buffoon snarled, "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to bring a creampie to a seltzer fight?"

Grape. Orange. Orange. Durian. Mango. Orange. Radish. Nutmeg. Iceplant. Nutmeg. Grape. Jojoba. Iceplant. Mango. Yam. Orange. Uplandcress. Radish. Mango. Iceplant. Squash. Squash.

Tonight was the night. The night that I was going to meet my idol, Jake Bugg. I was so excited and anxious at the same time. I put on my red converse and headed downstairs.

You have twelve hours to live. :)

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that one's very existence is an act of rebellion.

"The thing about controlling men is that they're not afraid of commitment. If anything they're over-committed," said Amy. "Is Reg still not letting you wear knickers?" asked Lise w

That old bag is made of cells. Cells are bags of liquid and proteinaceous glob. They contain organelles. Organelles are just smaller bags with more liquid and glob.

"You sprained your what?" she asked.