"I know my love is hard for you to bear. But I want you more than all the living. I want you the most." "You are Death." "And you are its Queen. You rule with me."

I was perusing the American Section of the supermarket. I decided to make a Tootsie Roll casserole with pancake mix dumplings & chocolate sauce gravy. I love ethnic food!

tin of red herrings, a good way to elude his pursuers, the many pampered felines he'd seduced for their jeweled collars. Tom was a catty cad, but lived life freely, sowing his oats

"What of the Toad?" he asked. A reasonable question considering the situation he found himself in: a green gloppy soup decorated with lillypads filled the bath and

One morning I woke up and noticed that everything had changed. My fish bowl and lamp was upside-down, the numbers on my clock were different, and the hue on my t.v was all wrong.

Jamie Summers landed with a soft squelch upon the wombat. Thirty operations later it was reborn..better, faster, stronger - as the Bionic Wombat. Aided by its allies, Robopork &

New York had ritz and grit. That's why he'd stayed, even living on the streets. But Jim had all but given up when the Limo stopped on his corner. He raised his sign "Will act for

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To ring in the New Year, we threw our pots and pans off the balcony.

Violet enters.Men in the room notice her presence.Her perfume and how she carries herself with haughtiness,makes some feel intimidated and oddly attracted.She stares at a mirror

"Bibi sishi bosh!" "No! Umu sagar son!" These two Neanderthals disagreed about everything. Bod hit Bub over the head with a roughly-hewn flint. "Ug munu far Lunt ha!"

There were only three people in the world that can make pecan pie to die for: my mother (god rest her soul,) me, and a Russian hit man. There can only be one.

Since entering prison, the Menendez brothers have married, even though California does not allow conjugal visits for those convicted of murder or for those serving life sentences.

I'll never forget the day my goatee came to life. You see, I'd found this top hot in a thrift store, and, on a whim, I'd stuck my goat in it and mumbled a quick prayer to Satan.

Happiness is a breakfast burrito. That is all.

Its been over 20 years since, I stuck the stick in that wonderful pink powder, but even now as I get ready to dip it for the first time I can feel my mouth puckering in

"Time to carve you up!" Hans & Frans pull started their chain saws & attacked ice blocks. The ice disco had to be finished in 2 hrs. Hans worked the bar while Frans cut a discoball

Members of the Beautiful Nose Association were not sniffers and snorters. No, members mainly consisted of nose models. Nose models are in high demand by

The birds wouldn't stop flapping inside their cages. "We've been here since my great-grandfather first opened the shop" he said, with a sense of genuine pride underlying his words

A sign here reads "Reading Railroad." To your east is the IRS. To the west you see the edge of Oriental Ave. You hear a strange whistling in the air. Arcane rogue, what do you do?