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Being in the kitchen with David is my favorite thing to do. We laugh & sing, joke & drink wine while we're cooking. Things got out of hand one night though when we were making

Call me Fishmael.

Ah, but you see you clicked on the 'Terms of Service.' This gives us every right to do the following. Now, hold still....

"What *are* marriage vows even? Rules? Guidelines? More like suggestion box pipe dreams at best." Man, Craig sure knew how to talk me into justifying the dead hooker in my trunk.

wake up to a phone ringing, meets a baker, ran out of toilet paper, crashed a plane, goes crazy, walking in a thunderstorm, ate a cookie in a palace,

She stumbled over the wire. Her mind screeched with panic but on the outside all was quiet. Did this mean her team had succeeded in disabling the alarm? She continued

A man walks into a bar.

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I always had this feeling that something was wrong. Every time I visited my grandparents' home, I noticed how peculiar it was that grandma never cooked. It was as if she

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Which seat can I take? It's Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend! Tomorrow is Saturday And Sunday comes afterwards, I don't want this

Do you ever read something you have written and wondered, "When did I write this?" and "Who is Susan?" and "What is the statute of limitations in this state?"

My left leg is larger than my right leg, and the left side of my face protrudes about half an inch further than the right side, which seems to sag a little. I'm an asymmetrical

The Mat hatter stared at the little mouse. 'March forth,' he thundered. 'No it isn't,' said Alice 'it's Jan 11th." "Who asked you to butt in?' said the mat hatter belligerently. I

Hartwig dried his hair with a towel but didn't comb, put on some holey jeans & platform shoes. He was still a short german with a big American car & a deathwish. He stomped on the

His mission was to make sure every pond, pool, river, lagoon, lake, and run-off contained at least one rusted broken-down shopping cart.