I dare you to add lines to this story. Go

I dare you to add lines to this story. Go on, do it!

I triple dog dare you! The last time I heard those words were last week, when Luther dared me to eat that whole container of low-fat buttery spread. At first, it was

slightly light, yet full of demon blood. My eyes turned red followed by paws. Why, and how did this happen? Why do I have paws? I lashed out smiting

my dinner with my claws. I shredded and munched with carnivorous abandon, despite the tickling mathematician in my brain that wanted to compare bone lengths. I ordered a mojito and

and drank it in a single slurp. I sighed, damn I really needed this drink. I couldn't stop thinking in equations, everywhere I looked there was another pattern. It was

freaking me out. I called Einstein. "How do I stop thinking in equations?" I asked. "Just discover ze mysteries of ze universe mein leibling." There was a convenient blackboard in

the bathroom stall, where I did my best thinking. It is there I took Einstein's advice. My mind spewed out equation after equation while I sat there doing my calculations. Finally,

I realized that God WOULD indeed play dice. You see, God is omniscient so when he plays dice, while it is random, he knows what the number would be. Someone pounded on the bathroom

door. "Are you guys done in there? We've got a line back from here to San Francisco & I gotta piss like a racehorse." The two gamblers stopped mid-plan, and let the poor guy in.

"Hey, thanks man. You know what would be great in stall? A little game of dice." And thus was institutionalized, the greatest floating crap game at Candlestick park.