It was a classic Catch22. I had contracted Legionnaire's disease at a gentleman's club, but was supposed to have been at the Admiral's Ball. Faced with a Hobson's choice of whether

The recruitment officer stared at me. "A building's on fire, you have to save everyone inside. What are your preferred tactics?" I thought about it. "I like the orange ones. Why?"

He stepped out into the night. The fog swirled. The street lights flickered.

I'd just sat down to breakfast when I felt myself shrinking. I'd been leaning over my frosted wheats when it started, so naturally I found myself naked, 1 inch tall and swimming

Chan Chan exited the alleyway into the street. The glowing outline of the Needle shot up behind the sillhouette of smaller buildings in the ever murky Shanghai skyline. Buildering

Would chocolate be enough to bribe the border control police into letting me cross into Canada?? I had left my passport and ID in my wallet! And God only knew where I had left

Rain fell onto my cheeks, and fell off with the tears. It was at that moment that I just knew that he wouldn't come. Not today, not ever. Why had I ever thought he was going to?

"It's kind of weird, but you can't really help that the disease is going around," said former queen

I woke up next to a cute blonde who was completely unclothed, my clothes scattered all over the floor. I tried remembering what I did last night but all I could think of was

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! One night I was getting freaky in a tree with my boy named

This is a test of your ability to infer meaning. To 'read between the lines'. What is your conclusion after considering the evidence?

"A simple man, living a simple life" was his motto. And as I pointed out to him every time, "You aren't that simple Brian. You've got that big....

Unmoving, I stared into the mirror contempulating the reflection glaring back at me that was not my own. I shuffled my feet and with this slight movement the relfection...

That ginger had stolen my soul. There was no other explanation for it. I felt only misery & pain. Even though nobody knew how to retrieve a soul from a ginger, I was determined.

He kept his eyes on the prize, just on top of the mantle. "Don't it make my brown eyes blue..." he thought that the song was fitting for the situation but maybe a bit too literal.

Friends... family... countrymen. It is a far greater fold that I feld today than have I ever folded before. With these words

Blanche wasn't one of those little old ladies who didn't know how to drive her Porsche. When the trooper pulled her over

I jumped in line at the jumping time with my bag of twine and my nursery rhyme and I thought

I know a girl whos obsessed with a guy , she talks gor hours and still tomorrow she calls again , and when he thinks this could be the end .. she calls again at 6 in the morning ,

It just shows how far you can go if you pursue a dream. Billy Bob wanted his trailer to be in orbit. He'd made all the preparations. His customized Airsteam Bambi