How in the hell does someone throw out their back blowing out the candles on their birthday cake? I asked for a pie. I'm allergic to cake.

Dave was going to the footy game. The most antcipated game of the year.England v Germany in the 2014 world cup final!Were England going to triumph or were Germany going to succeed?

The last time I met her she was wearing a nun's habit. She had this habit of changing costumes and personas constantly. I wondered what she garb she would be in this time.

She used to say she hated smokers and refused to kiss him, but the roses he'd bought her were an emotional lubrication. She still complained, but flowers muted her for another week

The new marketing guy appeared to have missed the point of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty when he hired 14 "Dove Bitches" to work the trade show. Show 'hos he called them.

The pink brain sits on my desk with a green hotai to keep it company. The brain, a gift from the oral deaf education people, thinks it is sooo smart. The rabbit just looks on

She told everyone she wanted her kid back. She even wrote to social services. But of course, she did NOT want her kid back. She wanted that thing they call free time, that sweet

And then he said, "What about this: Stevie Ray Parker Jr. where blues guitar meets ghostbusters?" And that's when the place went nuts, Carl had just

My first mistake was probably getting "If lost, please return to..." and my address engraved on to my house keys. My second was

With his apnea kicking in, his snoring interrupted the second aria of Der Valkyrie. His wife attempted to hit him in the ribs with her clutch purse. The ushers crouched forward and

Socorro,a brazilian girl whose name meant-literally-help,was actually asking for help at the top of her lungs,from the top of the Empire State Building...and she couldn't believe

Why oh why had Daniel sent the form in. It was a disaster waiting to happen, he knew. As soon as the envelope fell into the post box he felt

I was on hold for fifty-seven minutes before she came back and asked me for my information again. I told her calmly & politely my name and info. "Please hold" she said. I cracked.

"Where's the moke!" she yelled, frustrated by the youngsters inattention to her needs. "When Larissa was here I always had the moke, or anything else I needed."

Sapphire. Ruby red. Emerald. With a zinger or two of gold thrown in. More than I could ever imagine. They whizzed by my coronas at blitzkrieg speed as I

Sara move to another country and lost contact with all her old friends. She misses them a lot. she also tried to contact them but can never get in touch. In her mind

The file cabinet contained it all. When she was blabbing with the others she never let her eyes rest on it. No no no no. That would be too obvious. But when she was sure she was

"17 times a week! That's more than anyone can stand" The small puppet turned its head and looked longingly at the strings. " But maybe...."

Yo that infamous woods poet is back in your earhole. I serve game in forested areas with lyrics like 'yo squirrel, suck on deez nuts!' and 'c'mere bunny rabbit, take a nibble

She step on stage seing nothing but the darkness between the spotlights.Her feet hurt like hell inside the pink pointe shoes,already stained red on the inside by her blood and any