Sapphire. Ruby red. Emerald. With a zinger

Sapphire. Ruby red. Emerald. With a zinger or two of gold thrown in. More than I could ever imagine. They whizzed by my coronas at blitzkrieg speed as I

looked down at the control panel for the Hadron collider. Apparently, we were attacting cosmic fairy dust with our magnetic coils. The effects on the fabric of space time would

be awesome; rather than being torn, space's temporal parts would fly all the way to Neverland, until every past and present component would mesh in Pan's immortal realm. My boss

, thinking it would be a kick to introduce Wendy to "Sticky Fingers" before she finished her joint, went straight to "Sister Morphine" and turned over the roach-filled ashtray. Da!

Da! Screamed Bam-Bam. Except he was 28 and still living at home. It wasn't funny. He was incredibly strong and had broken the fridge 18 times this week, Barney

counted all 18 times on his fingers. That's right, Barney had 18 fingers. This is why he was always after the magic Fruity Pebbles. Fred would never understand Barney's anguish

Anyways, one day, Barney came across a very stinky puddle, smelling like a mixture of poo, Lil Wayne's dirty socks, and baby vomit. He examined the pile and concluded it to be

a figment of his "scatapological complex".That's what his shrink called it.He was learning to control the neurosis he developed during his traumatic childhood potyphobic umbringing

plasmodic puetrembasal figmentological scinfringing moisdenrolder caumacauma neligerincy which manifested itself into copraphilia like the rest of the U.S. military. Shrinks. What

now? I frantically leafed through my dictionary trying to find out where this train of thought was leading me. I didn't get it. Who's thoughts where these anyway? Not mine, I could