I tend to procrastinate and sit on Facebook too much when I should be

"I wish he would just leave me alone" Mathew said to himself, " He's such a nosey person, maybe he should just go and talk to his own sun." Mathew got up and then

Then wonder woman sold her invisible jet to the third in command of Al Qaeda. He was not as charming as Bin Laden was, but Bin was dead. She sold the invisible jet for

'Near mercy' (in much the same way that 'near miss' signifies a miss) = 'Mercenary'. Coincidence? Perhaps. But to yeasayers, I tell the story of Barry the Mercenary Canary. He flew

Ordinarily, this would be the room with the decontamination gel, but for some reason the room was dry. The lighting was wrong. I notice that my running bra is tighter than it was.

Ordinarily, there is more to do at the mall. With all my friends busy, I decided to visit Victoria Secret. I am enamored by the detail in the mannequins. So sexy, but this one was

A duck walks into a bar with a rabbi and orders a Grasshopper. The bartender looks down at them and says, "Is this some sort of joke?" Just then, 6-foot tall pianist stumbled in.

Wow, this class is so "fun" right? Web design is the

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. She'll probably die. She swallowed a spider to catch the fly that riggled and jiggled inside her.

"And cut! That's a wrap." The first season of the FoldingStory television show was done filming. My life's dream would come true; three stories per half-hour episode with an

After attempting several time-tested solutions, the lion tamer decided he better take drastic action to release the

The note read, "This is a fake stickup to test security. Put all the money in a bag and nothing funny." I bit my tongue

She turned to me with a look in her eyes that said come and get me. And frankly, how could I refuse?

"Go, Pikachu!" The little pixelated red and white ball flung across the screen and out popped the little electric rat. This was gonna be a tough battle, especially if it's against

I was listening to the radio when I heard a discordant noise. It was my cell phone playing the theme from

As a manager, one of my most essential tasks is to identify strengths and weakness, and delegate tasks to each of you. After much consideration, I now choose YOU for the dying.

For many college students, the holiday season is the time to trek home to visit the family, reap loads of gifts and spend time away from that special

"Oh my," Ted gripped his lunch bag. Crosswalks were tense for him. He counted each step and tapped his knee three times for good luck. He also alphabetized the cars until

The tissues piled up on the table. The flu hadn't reached it's plateau yet but I couldn't stop to rest so I knew it would just get worse. I had a deadline and health be damned.

She had spent a lifetime controlling her emotions in public. Working as a cashier at Old Navy wasn't the place where one could "share." So she bought a beanie baby named Jesus