Winston Kramer, genius baby, wiggled in his high chair at the mic. If he could spell "prosciiutto" he would win the spelling bee. His mother was nervous. Winston had a diaper rash

Alpha, the word for ox in ancient Phoenician, soon came to symbolize the sound of the first letter of the ox. Thus it was that the hubris and passion of the original Alpha, the ox,

Writing Boot Camp: The drill sargent yells. "Finish your folds.You've got 4 minutes! And anyone uses penis, or makes fart jokes gets to clean the latrine! Private Folder Ryan types

QUICK! Turn on the TV! The first sentence you hear is the next line of this story. GO!

Here's a story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold, like their mother, the youngest one in curls.

One night, when I was sitting outside on my porch chugging down another Iron City, the sky curtains drew back. A hand came down from the sky & pointed to the east. So I got up &

This is a tragic story of star-crossed lovers, faked suicides, pizza alle vongole, muffled screams and hearts shattered into tiny bits then trampled under the heel of fate. But tha

Determined to find out if the legend was true I took a bus to Manitoba. I wanted to grasp the Rogue Wendy's 9 patty T-Rex burger in my own hands, unhinge my jaw & make like a snake

"A 24 hr bus ride to Tijuana Ricardo! What in Cojones are we gonna do all this time?" But Ricardo was prepared & pulled out one bottle of coke, one of tequilla and two plastic cups

For Mother's Day I got my wife an invigorating 3-minute internal vaginal massage followed by an all-expenses-paid solo sandwich making workshop right in out kitchen!

With all the groupies and the long bus rides and nights filled with drugs and booze, I know I have paid my dues as an ocarina musician.

It was a hard decision but I needed to decide or they would kill Molly. What color from the spectrum would I choose for them to murder? Oh, the repercussions! Would the sky go dark

Have you ever noticed how many times the number 87 turns up? 87? No way. Yeah, it DOES. Pay attention and you'll soon realize that there is something special about the number 87.

I burst through my cheating ex's window like the Kool Aid mascot and smashed the pothead's computer and TV to smithereens with his own baseball bat. Then I set his house on fire.

In my horror, I had stumbled upon the Folding Story Code. Every first letter of EVERY fold inevitably spelled out the terrible secret of...well, that I had yet to discern, but it

Pen against paper, but no words come out. No thoughts whatsoever. Just nothing. I didn't understand how my hypergraphia could change so quickly into writers block. It did. And now

As I drew my last breath, Images of the horrors I had created, of the lies and deceit I had inflicted upon innocent people, flooded my mind. I had been a news anchorman for over 40

The night's pallor matched that of the surface's shadows, blending the environment into a singular darkness. Detective James Manatee, combat chopsticks in hand, investigated the

memoirs by me

As he approached the center of the field, he couldn't help but think about his impending doom. He glanced down at the package in his hand. It wouldn't save him. Why bother with it?