Vaughn died tonight in his final go-kart crash. Distracted by the sinister eyes of Trump peering out from the massive billboard looming above the track, he pressed the accelerator

There she was. Wentl. A perfect little O of green fur, her tail wrapped demurely around her pink, scaly nose. Dgorf didn't want to wake her, so he

I hate taking sleeping pills. Apparently, I get up in the middle of the pm and buy stuff from Infomercials. I only know this bc today, I received a HarryPotter ninja sword.Yesterda

After sitting on the bench, joe finally decided to get up and walk on the walkway. After doing this, and interesting thought popped into his head, so he stopped and pndered...

You are a D.A.P., a Depressed Anxiety Person.

Professor Maladroit adjusted the mass spectrometer for recalibration. The latest lab results showed a 12,000% spike in brainwave activity among subject group 4. Couldn't be right.

It was a Sunday afternoon in the park on the island at La Grande Grande Jatte when suddenly Georges Seurat understood the meaning of life. It was as if everything made sense.

To whom it may concern STOP My name is Sam, I work at the telegraph factory STOP The telegraphs have become sentient STOP Send help STOP also Diet Coke STOP Just don't

In November of 1878, long after it had been thought lost at sea, the Turtle of the Baskervilles

After an unexpectedly brief tour of the countryside, Leighton Milford docked his aeroskiff with a grimace of dismay in the stellarium above 19 Sutton Mews. His terrified passenger,

"This is too hard" said Jim, "Thats what she said" said Michael.

This story will end after 10 lines.

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. And my brain is composed of trillions of little links. I needed to get smarter quick so I set out to kill of a few billion weak links

Madoff had a visitor. "Whooped-de-fucking-doo," he thought. But he didn't recognize the guy at the prison window. It was Tony Stark. He was pissed. Stark Industries had lost tons

In Tonight's News, We explore the vast loss of life when the all The Members of the Gangnam Shake Flash Mob simultaneously combusted from awesomeness. In related news, Psy

One day I woke up in a whole new world. In this new world cars could fly or drive themselves, flappy bird became the most popular game ever played, and everyone lived in a mansion.

The potato was lying on the ground. Then a bird ate it. Then a cat ate the bird. Then a dog ate the cat. Then a cheetah ate the dog. Then a lion ate the cheetah. Then a shark ate

"Only a fool would fold a foal!" fulminated Frances furiously. "Furthermore,

Harcourt Chalmers cradled the bowl John Dee had given his ancestor Harry Morlock, a country lad who set out to sea in the 1600s and founded an empire of noodles. But now the emp

This Splung named Pungo Boondoofus dropped a frosted Phobusicle next to the earthlings rover and they imaged it. It's just a matter of time before they analyse it. What will we do?