The witching hour came. The wind howled outside. The rain looked like blood splattering on the window. The manthing sniffed the air. Then continued eating the severed head.

David Letterman's Top 10 Reasons Why Hillary Clinton Will Win The Presidency: #10: Unlike her male counterparts, she actually grew a pair.

In a distant mental asylym the waited fall had arrived. it's been 4 years and now it's time for the competition. consisting of 4 events. The first was

The bomb blew up and the mushroom cloud blew out.

"Oops, I spilled some peanut butter and BBQ sauce on my ankle," said the mailman. "No bother, though. This surely is not a contrived situation that will come back to "bite" me."

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Dammit! My husband, Jefforama, is beating me at FoldingStory! Sure, I have more points, but his average is higher. Why must everything in our marriage be a competition?! Jefforama

Chortkin struggled to wake up. He was bound and gagged on a waterbed filled with piranhas, and wearing a lace negligee. Putin smirked. "Desire, frustration, danger: these make life

The air was stale and heavy. Despite the curse, the man pulled the tomb's lid off. A mummy. The images warned of evil. Writing covered the wrapping, as he looked closer, the folds

Phil had been away on business for a long time. He was very homesick and couldn't wait to see his wife again. He opened the door and saw

His eyes adjusted to the darkness in the ancient sewers. He could hear the authorities closing in from all directions. He needed a distraction to open his escape route lower.

Oh how we taunted the Mechanoids after they toasted all the organic creatures of the Seventh Arm. So what if they were post-organic -- we were post-material Hah! Mecha Master 2708

Joe had just hit the pope with his truck. There were no witnesses. The situation was surreal. He left the cab and checked the pope's pulse. The pope had no pulse. He put the

Is flying a kite 'like the gusting spirit in you which you hold down earthed and so rising up on a taut life line?" or is it just flying a kite? You and the wind as one?

I hate the summer olympics. The sound of the starting gun always sends me into a hyperventilating state of panic. You see, I was a High School cross country runner. No one could

I was bored one day, so I decided to go to the top a skyscrapper and jump off. I said my goodbyes to the world and jumped. On the way down in mid-air something amazing happened...

I once owned a horse by the name of Gulliver. Best damn horse around these parts. She'd dance. I mean, honest to God, dance if you started playing "Hotel California" around her.

"Please hold onto the safety bar as the bus passes over this bridge" said the driver, who quickly added "in case something crawls out from under it".

The trouble with most congressmen is they forget that conversation is also a form intercourse or if they do remember, they they still want someone to get screwed and by them

Seven years ago I found a hat made of the finest silk. It was blue and looked to have never been worn. I found in it the old dumpster outside the strip club. Problem is, it was too