Cage Wests' college track days are paying off as he gains on the the diamond thief he has tracked over three continents and two years.

The moonlight shines as I await the presence of the Dark league warrior and his war hound named Dracos. I'm the queen of this universe, he is to gather the other Dark warriors.

I scream as shoop da woop says,"I'M A FIRE IN MY LAZOR" then terrified I

I looked at Cherie, staring deep within her soul, through the eyes. I knew she was lying but I didn't know how to react. If I called her out, she'd be embarrassed. If I let her

When Roland was shot in the eye a heavy Gloire de Dijon rose sprang from the bloody socket. It's roots penetrated his brain and sucked what life he had left to produce a perfume

Homo neanderthalis had a tendency to eschew sex in favor of playing pinochle. Thus the sex=meh gene doomed them to extinction where as Homo sapiens sex=fun gene meant that

"Stop that. Stop that right now." Billybob, the meek policeman, squeaked at the thief. "Oh, OK." the criminal replied, ashamed of his bad behavior. Billybob was a legend among cops

Connel stood on the roof of Century tower in his kilt, inflated his Bag pipe and on the count of midnight began to play Auld Lang Syne.

"Ahem" he said. "The suggestion box was completely empty again except for this message: I AM HORNY. All caps. Now, this leads me to believe

It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.

The Keebler elves had had enough. The Smurfs mushroom houses stunk to high heaven and were rotting the trunks of their homes, they grabbed tubby off the E.L. fudge line

Monkeys don't wear shoes, how could I've been so stupid? The half-monkey sneered at me and took my cell phone. He sniffed it and decided it was useless. There goes my escape route.

Come on Millie! Come on, girl. Let's go! COME ON MILLIE!! Want a goodie? Turkey?? Bye-byes??

Only really really smart people will be able to make sense of this story. Oh yes, it is a tale involving all of humankind' s greatest conflicts, but with definite resolution. Bob

"Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!" yelled Santa Pirate. "Death from on high!" He launched a tactical nuclear missile from a robotic reindeer drone. The ExFed truck deployed anti-air

The drums took over the moment. We all looked to the sky where we watched Melancholy Man fly away with Little Nell on her swan behind him. The birds all seemed to coo on cue & Blue

When the Elder Gods moved in to the vacant house on Cherry Lane, Mable Klump had been the first brave soul to welcome them, cheesy broccoli casserole in hand. Her sanity blasted

I am VERY mad at you! What we're you thinking when you

"Our soup of the day is sour neck in a hyperglycemic broth. Any takers?" I grabbed my daughter and bolted. They should serve American food in Transylvania. Tourists deserve

I got a lot done today! Finished my butt gluing fixture. Moved the porch light (I was tired of the moths getting in the house every time I opened the door at night) the TODO list