Of course I can ride a bike. I just can't turn the damn things. That's why I have knees that look like this. Now hand me the first aid kit and shut up! Grand kids who needs them.

Villupuram Chinnaih Jainilabdeen never washed his arm pits. The musky festering mass of hair was the secret ingredient of the famous "Villy's Curry"

Franklin laid some rifts on his glass harmonica. The French Ladies-in-Waiting were swooning to his clever slides. Ben crooned "Anybody want a revolution, baby?" Adams sneered.

In the catalogue of dreams of infertile action and impotent deed, my subject shall be: just grievances never addressed, with and without revenge (with an appendix on petty force).

The zombie Eloi advanced toward the citadels of the Morlocks, Tupperware and Frisbees dropping from their mindless yet beautiful hands. The Eloi did not have nutrition in mind,

You know, I guess I don't believe all children are born equal. I thought I believed that until I met your kids. I don't know them, but the sight of them makes me want to get a

1Mississipi2Mississipi3Mississ...Herald didn't remember how many Mississipis he was suposed to wait before he could chase after Jane into the woods.He agreed to the counting for fu

After the Great Atomic Cleansing all that were left was a new strain of human. They were cancer-proof and able to generate their food from the sun like plants. In that time

I had been collecting my sweat for two years now. I kept it in mason jars. Thousands of them littered around my trailor. I was proud of my collection. I had names for each jar.

After a long day of cheerleading practice, I came home jumped on the couch and fell asleep. I remember having this really weird dream and it goes a little something like this...

I love

One morning, as I waltzed accross the street, I noticed two strange men loitering by a broken lamp. I strode over to see what all the commotion was about, and...

One day a girl was walking to school. On her way there, a magical bean jumped out of a random closet door and started dancing in front of her the girl was scared because she didnt

on nuketown 20 clips of ammo left search and destroy saggin trousers is the only person on his team left while other have 2 out of no where saggin trousers runs of the platform and

While on a trip, I go hiking in some really strange woods. I have heard stories from some of the local neighbor's stories saying that there is something in the woods. So I looked

Everyday Sara would walk home from school. She would always pass the old Bricker house at the bottom of the treet. When she was little, she'd always hear stories about it. Kids sa

The toy soldiers marched onward. Their tiny wooden legs creaking as they moved. Their objective was clear. Their mission had been set. Little Timmy had to die.

But the Norwegian Resistance movement wanted to keep going. The only problem was that they had nothing left to resist. They're chairman scanned the internet looking for something

a little man was walking down the street, he noticed something at the corner of his eye. when he turned, there was nothing in sight. he kept walking. then he felt something touch

one day, as I looked outside my window, I saw a UFO. I was so scared I