Litze emerged sobbing from the cafe's bathroom. She was just off the bus from Estonia and hadn't seen a flushing toilet in 2 years. Budapest was paradise

Coffee... Mmmmm.... Coffeecoffeecoffeee.... COFFEE! (Where are the beans? Where is my stash? Wherewherewhe...) NO COFFEE! (Quick breath relax, car-keys-door-car-store) MORE COFFEE!

Trenia walked into the studio with an open mind and wounded heart. She was seeking solace in art and peace in creativity. Oh, the couple of martinis she'd indulged in didn't hurt

So he looked across the room like he had somewhere to go. He had to commit to a destination. An important destination. It was the only way to avoid talking to his friend.

"Time to carve you up!" Hans & Frans pull started their chain saws & attacked ice blocks. The ice disco had to be finished in 2 hrs. Hans worked the bar while Frans cut a discoball

We gotta find Dad. We gotta find Jessica's killer. In 1835, Samuel Colt made a special gun. They say this gun can kill anything. I've been having dreams. Sometimes they come true.

I am a wretched man, a deplorable man, a humorous man, a regrettable man. My brain is alive and has a disease. It goes out at night and I follow, in the shadows. The others I avoid

wake up to a phone ringing, meets a baker, ran out of toilet paper, crashed a plane, goes crazy, walking in a thunderstorm, ate a cookie in a palace,

Dave and Flip Floimhaven Flanderhoff were good-natured idiots, but idiots nonetheless. Dave's dad's company devised a time machine, and the two dressed as animals to fight the Nazi

"Russians. Koreans. Wookies. Lego People. Hicks! Burt Reynolds fans! Liposuction!" Suzan kept shouting clues. Mark stared in disbelief. She was the worst Superpassword partner

The negotiations between Easy Button and the CEO of Staples continued: "My client demands to be marketed as a superhero," said Easy's agent. "His superpower? Summoning toner."

Oh my goodness, Megadeth - best band ever. They are

I know a girl whos obsessed with a guy , she talks gor hours and still tomorrow she calls again , and when he thinks this could be the end .. she calls again at 6 in the morning ,

The Tuesday that the Anything boxes arrived for everyone was the day that civilization, as we know it, ended. By Thursday,

This is a test of the emergencey broadcast system. If this had been an actual emergency,

His life's mission was to secretly spread feces. He'd once wiped his ass on a fruit cake. It cut his ass up something fierce, but who could see ass juice and blood on a fruit cake?

I kick ass. It's unbelievable how much ass I kick. Should be illegal; probably is. Don't care. Too busy kick'n ass. All day; all night. Asleep, you'd be like "Damn, that guy kicks

It's funny how language can lead to dreams, joy and delight, or bickering, vile bile, and the toxic ectoplasm gushing out of internet sewers into the comments under news articles.

It's been a week now since my wife left for her mothers. I slept Surprisingly well for the first few nights of her absence, it felt great to come home to a quiet house.

I walked into the bar. Fud Leclerc's 'Drowned Men of the River Seine' was playing on the juke box and the lighting was low. He was waiting for me by the pool table holding 2 cues &